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Title: The Ties That Bind, Part 2
Pairing: Derek/Addison
Rating: NC-17
Summary: Addison has a secret. There’s only one person she can confide in, and he’s two thousand miles away.
Spoilers: Up through PP 4.8 and Grey’s 7.8
Warning: Mentions of rape/sexual abuse.
Word Count: 5,101 (for both parts)
Disclaimer: All television shows, movies, books, and other copyrighted material referred to in this work, and the characters, settings, and events thereof, are the properties of their respective owners. As this work is an interpretation of the original material and not for-profit, it constitutes fair use. Reference to real persons, places, or events are made in a fictional context, and are not intended to be libelous, defamatory, or in any way factual.
Author’s Note: Written for the Big Bang Challenge at [livejournal.com profile] shonda_land

Addison wasn’t exactly eager to go home with Derek. Actually, she wasn’t exactly eager to leave the bar at all.

“I wanna have a nodder onnneeeeee,” she slurred when Derek tried to wrestle the shot glass out of her hand. She pulled it to her chest like she wanted to hug it. “Is mine!”

“Addison, I think you’ve had enough,” he said softly.

“You don get to tell meee when I’s had nough,” she said, still trying to move away from Derek’s reach.


“I don’t like you.”

Derek froze. He caught her eye and for a second the glazy look she had been sporting for the past couple hours was gone. Her gaze was direct, lucid and he knew exactly what she was talking about.

He leaned closer to her, so Mark and Callie, who were laughing about something next to them, couldn’t hear.

“I’m not going to make you talk about it,” he whispered in her ear. “I just want to make sure you’re okay. I don’t want anything to happen to you. You can understand that, right?”

Addison was silent, but her eyes were studying him. She nodded.

But as fast as the serious mood had come over, it vanished again. A grin broke out on her face and she leaned over to hug Derek. “Okay, we cans go now,” she giggled into his chest.

Derek shook his head. Sometimes, living apart from Addison, he forgot what she was like, how she could annoy him and amuse him all at the same time, how he would long to be near her yet simultaneously want to be as far away from her as possible.

But as he helped her off her bar stool and held her coat out for her, and her fingers tangled with his as she held on to make sure she didn’t fall, he had an uneasy realization that there were a lot of things about their relationship that he missed.

“You sure you got her?” Mark asked as he and Callie walked with Derek and Addison to the car, Addison still holding on to Derek’s hand and giggling to Callie about something as they walked.

Derek nodded. “Yeah, it’s fine. Everyone’s out tonight so there a lot of empty beds.”

“She has a hotel room, you know.”

“I do. I just … don’t want her to be alone. It’s been a bad week.” He felt like he was saying the same thing to everyone.

But Mark looked thoughtful. “She told me,” he said, then clarified at Derek’s surprised expression. “I mean, sort of. She told me one of her friends was attacked. And that she’s having a hard time knowing what to do to help.”

“Yeah,” Derek said. “She is. I thought maybe coming here, getting away from the situation, would help her see things more clearly.”

Mark nodded. “Is there something going on with you and Addison?”

Derek stumbled, jerking Addison, who was still holding his hand, and making her stumble too. Callie grabbed her before she could fall.

“Sorry,” Derek said to Addison, before turning back to Mark who was watching this all happen with an interested expression.

“Interesting,” Mark murmured.

“There’s nothing ‘interesting’ here,” Derek said quietly. “Nothing at all. She’s my friend. I just want to help.”

I could help her,” Mark said with a sly grin.

Derek frowned. “Oh, hell no. She has a boyfriend.”

Mark’s grin faded. “Sam. She told me. That’s just weird.”

“I know.”

“You’re okay with it?”

“Why wouldn’t I be?”

“Just making sure, that’s all,” Mark said, but Derek had a feeling that wasn’t what Mark had been doing at all.

He didn’t have time to wonder, though, because he felt a tug on his arm and turned around in time to see Addison trip over something. This time he let go of her hand and was the one who managed to grab her before she could fall. He pulled her up against him and wrapped his arm around her waist.

“Oopsy,” she giggled.

Callie and Mark waited until he had gotten Addison buckled into the car before turning to leave.

“Just … be careful, man,” Mark said before turning away.

“What does that mean?” Derek couldn’t help asking.

Mark stare pointedly at him. “Just what I said. Be careful.”


Derek helped Addison on to the couch in the living room, then headed for the kitchen to get her a glass of water and some aspirin. His head was spinning. The cryptic message Mark was sending him, the feeling he had gotten when he held her hand walking to the car, the feeling he had gotten at the airport when she ran into his arms …

He wasn’t supposed to be thinking things like this. Addison was his friend. He was helping her because she was his friend and he didn’t like to see her hurting. That was all.

That, and the secret between them. He was the only one who knew. She had never told anyone, and 14 years ago when she had told him, she had begged him not to ever tell anyone. And he hadn’t.

They had just started their intern year. Addison had been on a peds rotation. A little girl had been brought in, and it hadn’t taken long for the doctors to start suspecting she was being abused.

Derek had found Addison sobbing in an on-call room. She’d been hysterical, on the verge of hyperventilating, and it was the first time she had ever truly scared him. He had wanted to get someone to help, but she had begged him not to leave her, and when she had finally calmed down enough, he had told her he was going to get their resident if she didn’t tell him what was going on.

So she’d told him. In a voice barely more than a whisper, and without once looking at his face, she had told him about her dad’s work colleague who was supposed to be keeping an eye on her while her dad was down the hall screwing his secretary but who had done a lot more than just keep an eye on her.

She had never told anyone. Not her parents, not her brother, not her nannies. No one. But she told Derek. He had been horrified, but when she promised she would talk to someone about it, he swore he wouldn’t tell anyone.

She told him a few months later that she’d gone to see someone like he asked and that she was “fine.” He knew she had been lying to him, but he loved her and didn’t want to make things worse, so he had kept her secret.

And for the most part, Derek believed Addison really was okay with what had happened to her, but now, when something had happened to bring back those memories, he was worried, once again, about what this might do to her.

Trying to push all these thoughts out of his head, Derek grabbed the glass of water and the aspirin bottle and headed back to the living room.

Halfway there, his heart started pounding.

He rushed into the living room to have his fears confirmed. The giggling, drunk girl had been replaced with the sobbing mess in front of him.

She was sitting cross-legged in the middle of the couch, sobbing into her hands. Loud, wracking sobs that were shaking her whole body.

“Oh, Addie,” he whispered sadly. He dropped the water and aspirin down on the table, and quickly took a seat beside her, his arms automatically reaching out for her, pulling her into his lap, positioning her so her legs draped across his lap, her arms wrapped around his neck and her face was buried in his shoulder.

He pressed her to him, wrapped one arm tightly around her back and began to rock her softly, his other hand stroking her hair.

“It’s okay, it’s okay, it’s going to be okay,” he whispered over and over into her hair.

“No, it’s not,” he heard her sob, her voice muffled by the cloth of his shirt. “It’s not. I don’t know what to do. I want to help her, but she won’t let me. And she’s going to hate me when she finds out what I did.”

“She’ll understand.”

“I don’t think she will,” she sobbed, her cries became faster at that, too fast for her to be able to speak anymore. Instead she just clung to Derek and he held her back, wishing there was something he could do to make her feel better.

Derek wasn’t sure how long they sat there, Addison in his arms, but finally, he felt her body begin to relax and her sobs begin to slow, until it was only her hitching breath that betrayed the fact that she wasn’t okay.

Her red tendrils were covering her face, wet and sticky now, and he brushed the strands away. Her eyes were closed, and her face was covered with tears, but she had fallen asleep, though the fact that she was still crying a little even in slumber was breaking his heart. He wished he knew how to help her.

He figured he could at least let her sleep someplace more comfortable.

Carefully, Derek adjusted her in his arms, hooking one arm under her legs and the other tightly around her lower back. Slowly, he stood up, getting used to the weight of her in his arms. Addison stirred slightly, but she didn’t wake up.

Derek took her into the master bedroom and laid her down. He had a strong suspicion Meredith wouldn’t actually be okay with that, but it didn’t matter right this moment. He just wanted Addison to be okay.

He dug through a couple of drawers, finally pulling out an old t-shirt for her to wear. The jeans and button-down shirt she had been wearing all day looked a little uncomfortable, not to mention that she smelled like vodka.

Derek was never sure later what he had actually been intending to do — wake her up and have her change herself or just change her for her — because he never had the chance to find out. The instant he leaned over her, her eyes fluttered open.

“Hi,” she whispered.

He smiled. “Go back to sleep, Addie.”

Addison’s eyes filled with tears. “I need help, Derek,” she whispered sadly. “I don’t know what to do.”

He smiled gently at her. “It’s okay. We’ll talk about it in the morning. We can talk about everything. We can figure something out. We can. I promise.”

Addison shook her head. “I feel so lost,” she said, her voice breaking as new tears glistened in her eyes.

Derek felt his heart ache at her words. “We’ll figure it out,” he whispered back to her. “I promise. You’re not lost. You’re with me.”

Addison blinked. “Sam said he loves me,” she said.

This time it was Derek’s turn to blink. “Okay …”

“I told him I loved him too.”

“Ummm … that’s great, Addie …”

“I lied.”

Derek felt like he couldn’t breathe. “What?”

“I lied to him. I didn’t think I was lying at the time, but I was. I know that now.”

Derek didn’t have to ask her how she knew. Her eyes said it all. She was staring at him, her blue eyes peering into his. He felt like she could see his soul; he felt like he could see hers.

And in an instant he knew what was going to happen. And in the same instant, he didn’t care. His whole world was going to change, might even be ruined, but in that moment, when he looked into her eyes, he didn’t care.

He wasn’t sure if she leaned up into him or he leaned down into her, but it didn’t matter. Their lips met, and the last few years disappeared. Everything they once had, they once were, was in that kiss, and it was magical.

His hands were in her hair, her hands were gripping his back, their lips were meeting, first softly, gently and then faster, rougher. She parted her lips and he pushed his tongue inside. He felt her nails dig into his skin through his shirt.

He had to touch her. Instantly, his hands moved from her hair, down to her waist. He pulled her into a sitting position, then found the bottom of her shirt. His lips never left hers, but with a surgeon’s skill, he slid the buttons loose on her blouse until he could push it off her arms.

His hands slid up her sides, feeling the soft, silky expanse of skin. He cupped her breasts through her bra and she moaned into his mouth.

She found the bottom of his shirt and pulled it over his head, as his lips finally left hers. He trailed them downward, kissing, biting, licking, sucking, at her neck, her shoulder, her clavicle, the space between her breasts.

His hands made quick work of her bra, sliding it down her arms and tossing it somewhere away from them.

His mouth attached itself to her left breast, as his left hand cupped her right breast. He could hear her moaning somewhere above him, and he carefully pushed her backward so she was lying down once more.

He began tracing kisses down her stomach, trying to ignore the whimper that escaped her mouth when he left her breast. But within seconds, he was sliding the button of her jeans through the hole and pulling down the zipper. He pulled her jeans off her long legs, then carefully pushed her legs apart.

Pulling her panties to the side, he slid two fingers into her, smiling as he felt how wet she already was. Her hips instantly jerked at the contact and he used his other hand to hold her down.

It didn’t take long to make her come, and as he watched her writhe under his touch and heard her cry out his name, nothing else in the world mattered.

But he wasn’t finished yet. As she regained her breathing, he slid his fingers out of her and quickly pulled her panties down her legs. His own pants and boxers were discarded seconds later.

Addison smiled up at him when she saw, spreading her legs even wider to give him better access, and when he slid into her, they both sighed in contentment.

He held her to him as they moved. She dug her fingers into his back and wrapped her legs around his waist. His lips found hers, as their mouths came together over and over and over. He let her come first, and the feeling of her clenching around him, sent him over the edge as well.


Derek’s eyes flew open. He felt like someone had just hit him.

Someone had just hit him.

He grabbed Addison’s arm as she took another swing, catching her off guard and causing her to topple forward on to his chest.

Instantly, and with a cry of horror, she pulled herself back upright, pulling the sheet up to cover her bare breasts.

“Addison …” Derek started. Images from the night before were filtering through his mind. He looked at the redhead perched in front of him.

She looked horrified.

“Oh, God, Derek,” she whispered. “What did we do?”

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