I Promise You (5/?)
Sep. 2nd, 2009 02:18 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
flipflop_divaTitle: I Promise You (5/?)
Rating: R
Warning: Deals with rape
Pairing: Derek/Addison
Summary: It was one broken promise, but it changed everything. AU from end of Season 3.
Disclaimer: All television shows, movies, books, and other copyrighted material referred to in this work, and the characters, settings, and events thereof, are the properties of their respective owners. As this work is an interpretation of the original material and not for-profit, it constitutes fair use. Reference to real persons, places, or events are made in a fictional context, and are not intended to be libelous, defamatory, or in any way factual.
Author’s Note: Just a warning, this chapter is a little intense.
Chapter 5
“Addie, sweetie, look at me.” Derek spoke softly to the redhead in the hospital bed, resuming his place in the chair next to her. In the time he had been talking to Bailey in the hall, Addison had managed to roll over so her head was buried in the pillow. Her knuckles were white from gripping on to the blanket, and she was trembling violently. Gently, Derek reached out and stroked her hair.
“Addie, sweetheart, I want to talk to you.”
It seemed like an eternity, but finally, Addison very slowly turned over so she was lying on her back again. She didn’t look at him, though; she stared above her at the ceiling. She was still trembling, and her grip on the blanket remained as tight as it was before.
Derek let out a soft sigh. “Bailey’s getting Izzie. They’ll be here soon. I know you’re scared, but you’re doing a really brave thing. I’m really proud of you. And I’m going to be here the whole time, okay?”
He paused. Addison didn’t answer.
“Addison?”
This time she nodded.
“Okay,” Derek whispered. “Okay.”
They lapsed into silence. Derek could hear footsteps outside their room, the sound of voices a distant murmur, but nothing felt real. It felt like he was trapped in some horrible nightmare, waiting for the moment when something would wake him up. He couldn’t even begin to imagine how Addison felt.
Before he could think about it any further, Bailey and Izzie stepped into the room, Izzie’s hands full with what Derek knew was the rape kit and a couple of blankets. He felt the bile rise in his throat as the impact of what was about to happen hit him.
Bailey moved across the room toward them. “Hi, sweetie,” she said softly to Addison. Addison’s only response was to turn her head to Derek, terror shining in her eyes. Derek reached down and, unhinging her fingers from the blanket, pulled her hand into his. She gripped him back, her nails already digging into his flesh.
Izzie and Bailey moved to the end of the bed, Izzie managing to muster what she was probably hoping was a small, encouraging smile but looked more like a grimace.
“We’re going to be as gentle as possible,” Bailey said to Addison. “Okay? I know this is scary, but we’re going to be as quick as we can.”
Addison nodded slightly. Derek wondered if it was his imagination or if she really was paler than she had been even moments before.
“You’re doing a really brave thing, Doctor Mont … Addison,” Izzie said, quickly changing course in an attempt to make Addison feel more comfortable.
“You are,” Bailey agreed. “We’re going to take care of you, okay? And at any time if you want to take a break or need to rest, you let us know, alright?”
Addison didn’t answer.
It was time to get started.
Derek watched as Bailey gently lifted Addison’s legs, placing them in the stirrups. Izzie handed her a blanket, and Bailey carefully laid it over Addison’s lower half, adjusting it in such a way that she had a good view.
“Addison,” Bailey said softly. “I’m going to do the exam, and Izzie’s going to help with all the evidence. I know you don’t remember what happened, and that’s okay. We can put down what you do remember.
“Derek can help with that,” she added quickly, patting Addison leg. “But I do have to ask you something first.”
Derek squeezed Addison’s hand.
Bailey took a deep breath, as though preparing herself for what was coming next. “Have you had sex with anyone else in the past 72 hours?”
Addison’s eyes flicked to Derek’s. “No,” she murmured, so soft Derek had to repeat it in order for Bailey to hear.
“Okay,” Bailey said, then picked up the speculum Izzie handed her.
It was far more painful to watch than Derek could ever have imagined. He had been present for rape exams before; he’d even conducted a couple. Every time he had tried to be as compassionate and understanding as possible. But the feelings of remorse and sadness those exams had brought up in him were nothing compared to watching it happen to Addison. He literally felt sick and nauseous. The anger that he felt before, at the unknown assailant, was rising up again. The pain that person had already put her through, and now was putting her through again, was overwhelming.
A couple times already Derek had to fight off the urge to cry, to swallow the lump in his throat. It appeared Bailey and Izzie were having to do that, too.
He watched as Bailey performed the pelvic exam, whispering things to Izzie who wrote them down. Izzie’s eyes stayed focused on Bailey and the paper in front of her, but finally she looked up, her eyes meeting Derek’s across the bed.
He had known, the second he had seen Addison, he had known, but there was a part of him that had hoped that maybe, just maybe, she hadn’t been raped. But the instant he met Izzie’s eyes and the truth in them, that hope vanished. Izzie looked at him and nodded slightly. Derek knew she was giving him the answer to his unasked question.
He closed his eyes, willing himself not to give in to the flood of emotions he could feel inside him. Anger and pain, disbelief and sadness. Instead he concentrated on Addison, holding her hand, stroking her hair. Addison was staring at Bailey, wide-eyed, biting on her lip so hard Derek thought she was going to make herself bleed. She wasn’t crying and she hadn’t said a word since Bailey had started, but a couple times he heard her whimper softly and her nails dug a little harder into his hand.
Finally Bailed pulled back.
“Okay,” she said gently. “We’re done with that part. Addison, you’re doing really great. Now we just have to collect some samples.”
Bailey turned to Izzie.
“Wait!”
All three heads spun to face Addison. She was staring at Bailey, and Derek could actually see her shaking from the fear.
“Addison?” he said.
She kept her eyes on Bailey. “I … I need … I want …I … Did …Was I …?” Addison trailed off, her eyes shifting downward to stare at the blanket covering her chest.
They all knew what she was trying to ask.
Bailey drew in a deep breath, then stood up, coming around to the side of the bed where she stopped just behind Derek. She reached down and gently touched Addison’s hand where Derek was holding it. Izzie moved to the opposite side and laid her hand softly on her other arm.
Addison raised her eyes to meet Bailey’s. “No …”
“I’m so sorry, Addison,” Bailey said.
Addison’s eyes flicked between the three of them. Tears sprang to her eyes and she shook her head furiously. “No!” she said loudly.
“Addison, I’m so sorry,” Bailey said again.
“No! Maybe you did it wrong? Maybe …” Addison stopped talking as she took in the pained expression on Bailey’s face. Slowly she turned her head to look at Izzie’s equally pained expression and then she shifted so she was facing Derek.
“Oh, Addie.” Derek could barely talk. His throat felt so dry.
Without warning, Addison jerked both her hands out of all their grips, quickly shoving the palms of her hands into her eyes. She lunged to the side closest to Izzie, trying to turn over, probably to hide, but her legs still in the stirrups prohibited her and she let out a cry, loud and pained and the worst thing Derek had ever heard.
The three doctors watched as Addison pressed her hands harder against her eyes, her shoulders heaving, her breath turning shallow and quick. Finally Bailey nodded toward Izzie, then toward the door, leaning in to whisper to Derek, “We’ll give you a minute.”
The two of them left the room without another word. Derek stood up and made his way to the other side of the bed, bending down so he was eye level with Addison.
“Addie?” he said gently. He reached out slowly, letting his fingers barely skim over hers, touching her only enough so she would know he was there.
Addison didn’t answer, just pressed her hands even harder still against her eyes. Through her arms, Derek watched the myriad emotions play over her face as she struggled not to give in to the grief.
Finally, after a few more quick breaths, she slowly dropped her hands. She was blinking furiously as tears glistened in her eyes, little droplets of water clinging to her eyelashes. Her bruised and swollen left eye looked even puffier after the pressure she had put on it.
“Tell me it’s not true,” she whispered. Derek took both her hands in his.
“I wish I could.”
“But … but Derek … but what do I do now?” Addison peered up at him. She looked so sad, so broken, Derek had an urge to pull her into his arms and hold her, but he wasn’t sure she was ready for that, so instead he squeezed her hands.
“You’re doing what you’re supposed to do,” he said. “You’re letting them examine you. The rest … the rest we figure out later. We take it one minute at a time, okay?”
Addison nodded. Derek let go of her injured hand to brush away a few tears that were making their way down her cheek.
“It’s okay to cry, Addie.”
“I want to go home.”
“As soon as you’re done.”
“I don’t want to be alone.”
“You won’t be alone. We’ll make sure someone stays with you.”
“Will you… will you stay with me?”
Derek felt his heart break at the pleading look on her face. “I don’t know that I can,” he started, but stopped as the door opened, and Bailey and Izzie walked back in, thankfully drawing Addison’s attention away before she heard his answer. He couldn’t think that far ahead right now, and the last thing he wanted to do was hurt her any more than she was already hurting.
“Okay?” Bailey said to Addison, who turned wide-eyed back to Derek again. He nodded for her.
“Okay,” Bailey said as Derek stood up and returned to his original spot by Addison’s other side, and she and Izzie moved back to the end of the bed.
“Okay, Addison,” Bailey started. “We have to get some samples now.”
Bailey and Izzie worked fast. Derek watched as Bailey started to gather the evidence for the rape kit, taking swabs from between Addison’s legs and asking her to chew on a piece of paper and spit on to a piece of gauze so they could get samples of her saliva to compare to any other fluids they might find. Derek wasn’t sure Addison should have been watching all of this, but when he whispered to her to lay back and close her eyes, she didn’t move. He wondered if she’d heard him at all and decided to just let her be.
The silence in the room was palpable, the tension broken only by the sounds of Addison’s still ragged breaths, the tinkering of instruments, the scribble of Izzie’s pen and the sound of Bailey’s voice, issuing instructions to Izzie or telling Addison what she was doing next.
They had to brush her hair, to collect any evidence that might be there, as well as have more DNA to compare everything to. Derek let go of Addison’s hand with his left one, making sure to keep holding on with his other, and slid his arm behind her back. He felt her body tense as he touched her.
“It’s just me. I’ve got you,” he whispered as he gently pushed her forward off the pillow, so Izzie had full access to her head.
Izzie took the brush to Addison’s long red strands, most of them now tangled and dirty and mixed with dried blood, Addison whimpering softly when the brush snagged a knotty patch.
“I’m sorry,” Izzie said quickly, patting her on the arm. Derek noticed Addison flinch at the contact.
Bailey moved up beside Derek.
“We need to pull a couple strands of hair for a comparison, Addison,” Bailey said. “You can do it if you’d like.”
Addison turned her head to Derek and shook her head.
“No,” she whispered. It was the first thing she had said since they had resumed the examination.
Bailey smiled at her, although Derek noticed the motion didn’t spread past her lips.
“That’s okay. We can do it.”
Together Bailey and Izzie tugged out a couple of pieces of hair from different spots on her head. Then they moved back down between her legs, this time collecting samples of pubic hair.
Addison didn’t make a sound, but Derek saw a drop of blood slip down her chin as she bit down hard on her lip.
They took fingernail clippings next, Izzie lifting Addison’s hands one at a time to first scrape under her nails, then trim them and bag the samples. Bailey helped Izzie hold Addison’s broken arm when they did that one, Derek swallowing quickly when he realized how swollen it was getting. Derek kept hold of her good hand when Izzie switched to his side, moving his hand so he was gently fingering Addison’s palm, leaving her fingers for Izzie to work with.
The photographs were the worst. Derek knew they had to take them, and he knew Addison knew too. She almost seemed frozen as Bailey snapped photos of the bruises on and between her legs, on her arms, across her back and covering her face. But it was when Derek and Izzie slowly worked together to slide Addison’s hospital gown down her arms so Bailey could get pictures of the bruises on her chest that Addison began to cry.
“Addie,” Derek said sadly as tears streamed down her cheeks.
“I don’t want to do this any more.” She instinctively moved her arms to cover her bare breasts, turning so she was looking only at Derek and no one else. “Please?”
“Hey.” Derek leaned over and pressed his fingertips lightly to her temple. “You’re doing so good. You’re almost done.”
“But I … I … I want to stop.” Her voice hitched, and she drew her arms even tighter around herself.
“I know. I know you do, Addie. But you’re almost done.” Derek moved his fingers down to wipe some of the tears off her cheeks.
Addison shook her head forcefully. “No-o-o-o ….”
“Addie, please,” he whispered. “It’s okay. You’re almost there. And look — Izzie will turn around. She won’t watch …”
“I’m turning around now,” Izzie said.
“… and Bailey will just take a couple pictures. It will be really fast. All you have to do is close your eyes and squeeze my hand, and it will be over really soon. I promise.”
Addison seemed to be studying him. He watched as, through her tears, she scanned his face, then looked directly into his eyes for what seemed to be an eternity, but in reality was probably mere seconds.
Finally she nodded. But she didn’t move.
Derek took that as a yes and gently dropped his hands to her shoulders, pressing her back into the pillows.
“Close your eyes, Addie,” he said, and this time she complied.
After a brief nod from Bailey, Derek slowly loosened Addison’s fingers from where she was gripping her arms and, one arm at a time, pulled her hands away from her chest and brought them back down to her sides, making sure to keep her right hand cradled in his.
Bailey kept her word; she was done in a matter of seconds. But Derek barely noticed. Instead he was focused on the purple welts that were forming along her breasts and the huge bruise that seemed to cover her entire left side. Bailey noticed it too.
“Broken rib?” she whispered to him, pointing.
“Are you … are you done?” Addison’s small voice brought Derek back to reality.
“We are, Addie. You did really good.”
He pulled his eyes away from her bruises and instead concentrated on helping Bailey slide her hospital gown back up to where it belonged, then sitting her up and tying it in place behind her.
“It’s over?” Addison asked hopefully once they had her positioned back against her pillows.
“We just need to draw some blood,” Bailey told her, again forcing a smile on to her face. “And I’m going to give you a couple shots to prevent any STDs, okay? And Izzie can give you the morning-after pill.”
A few minutes later, blood had been drawn, Addison had been given her shots and she’d swallowed the pill Izzie had handed her without question.
“I can go home now?” Addison turned to Derek, and he almost thought he saw a glimmer of hope on her face.
He forced himself to smile. “You can go home now.”
“Actually,” Bailey’s voice sounded behind him. “She can’t.”
“What?” Derek turned to look at Bailey.
“But Derek said …” The hope in Addison’s eyes had died.
“You need to get that wrist of yours examined,” Bailey said.
Addison shook her head. “No. It’s okay. It’s fine.”
“Addison.”
“It’s fine. I can do it later. Really.”
“Really?” Before Addison could answer, Bailey had leaned over and poked her wrist.
“Ow!”
“Tell me again your wrist is fine,” Bailey ordered.
As Derek watched, Addison narrowed her eyes at Bailey and glared, as though she were trying to force the other woman to see things her way through sheer determination.
“It’s fine,” she hissed.
Bailey wasn’t fazed. She leaned in, so she was staring directly back at Addison, and when she spoke, all traces of the sweet and tender Bailey had vanished.
“Listen to me, young lady. That hand is not fine. And no matter how many times you tell me it is, it is not going to make it fine. So you are going to get that wrist X-rayed and get it in a cast, and you are not going to argue with me. Because there is no way in hell that I am letting the best damn neonatal surgeon in the country leave here with a broken wrist. There are babies to be saved and mothers who need surgery, and I sure as hell am not going to tell them that our star surgeon can’t work on them because she was too darn stubborn to get her own wrist taken care of.”
Bailey leaned in a little farther, but this time her voice was softer.
“Addison, I know you’ve been through a lot. And I know someone hurt you really badly today. That person stole a lot of things from you. Don’t let them take your career too.”
Then without another word, Bailey pulled back and headed to the door.
Once she was gone, Addison turned to Derek.
“Okay. I’ll do it.”
Rating: R
Warning: Deals with rape
Pairing: Derek/Addison
Summary: It was one broken promise, but it changed everything. AU from end of Season 3.
Disclaimer: All television shows, movies, books, and other copyrighted material referred to in this work, and the characters, settings, and events thereof, are the properties of their respective owners. As this work is an interpretation of the original material and not for-profit, it constitutes fair use. Reference to real persons, places, or events are made in a fictional context, and are not intended to be libelous, defamatory, or in any way factual.
Author’s Note: Just a warning, this chapter is a little intense.
Chapter 5
“Addie, sweetie, look at me.” Derek spoke softly to the redhead in the hospital bed, resuming his place in the chair next to her. In the time he had been talking to Bailey in the hall, Addison had managed to roll over so her head was buried in the pillow. Her knuckles were white from gripping on to the blanket, and she was trembling violently. Gently, Derek reached out and stroked her hair.
“Addie, sweetheart, I want to talk to you.”
It seemed like an eternity, but finally, Addison very slowly turned over so she was lying on her back again. She didn’t look at him, though; she stared above her at the ceiling. She was still trembling, and her grip on the blanket remained as tight as it was before.
Derek let out a soft sigh. “Bailey’s getting Izzie. They’ll be here soon. I know you’re scared, but you’re doing a really brave thing. I’m really proud of you. And I’m going to be here the whole time, okay?”
He paused. Addison didn’t answer.
“Addison?”
This time she nodded.
“Okay,” Derek whispered. “Okay.”
They lapsed into silence. Derek could hear footsteps outside their room, the sound of voices a distant murmur, but nothing felt real. It felt like he was trapped in some horrible nightmare, waiting for the moment when something would wake him up. He couldn’t even begin to imagine how Addison felt.
Before he could think about it any further, Bailey and Izzie stepped into the room, Izzie’s hands full with what Derek knew was the rape kit and a couple of blankets. He felt the bile rise in his throat as the impact of what was about to happen hit him.
Bailey moved across the room toward them. “Hi, sweetie,” she said softly to Addison. Addison’s only response was to turn her head to Derek, terror shining in her eyes. Derek reached down and, unhinging her fingers from the blanket, pulled her hand into his. She gripped him back, her nails already digging into his flesh.
Izzie and Bailey moved to the end of the bed, Izzie managing to muster what she was probably hoping was a small, encouraging smile but looked more like a grimace.
“We’re going to be as gentle as possible,” Bailey said to Addison. “Okay? I know this is scary, but we’re going to be as quick as we can.”
Addison nodded slightly. Derek wondered if it was his imagination or if she really was paler than she had been even moments before.
“You’re doing a really brave thing, Doctor Mont … Addison,” Izzie said, quickly changing course in an attempt to make Addison feel more comfortable.
“You are,” Bailey agreed. “We’re going to take care of you, okay? And at any time if you want to take a break or need to rest, you let us know, alright?”
Addison didn’t answer.
It was time to get started.
Derek watched as Bailey gently lifted Addison’s legs, placing them in the stirrups. Izzie handed her a blanket, and Bailey carefully laid it over Addison’s lower half, adjusting it in such a way that she had a good view.
“Addison,” Bailey said softly. “I’m going to do the exam, and Izzie’s going to help with all the evidence. I know you don’t remember what happened, and that’s okay. We can put down what you do remember.
“Derek can help with that,” she added quickly, patting Addison leg. “But I do have to ask you something first.”
Derek squeezed Addison’s hand.
Bailey took a deep breath, as though preparing herself for what was coming next. “Have you had sex with anyone else in the past 72 hours?”
Addison’s eyes flicked to Derek’s. “No,” she murmured, so soft Derek had to repeat it in order for Bailey to hear.
“Okay,” Bailey said, then picked up the speculum Izzie handed her.
It was far more painful to watch than Derek could ever have imagined. He had been present for rape exams before; he’d even conducted a couple. Every time he had tried to be as compassionate and understanding as possible. But the feelings of remorse and sadness those exams had brought up in him were nothing compared to watching it happen to Addison. He literally felt sick and nauseous. The anger that he felt before, at the unknown assailant, was rising up again. The pain that person had already put her through, and now was putting her through again, was overwhelming.
A couple times already Derek had to fight off the urge to cry, to swallow the lump in his throat. It appeared Bailey and Izzie were having to do that, too.
He watched as Bailey performed the pelvic exam, whispering things to Izzie who wrote them down. Izzie’s eyes stayed focused on Bailey and the paper in front of her, but finally she looked up, her eyes meeting Derek’s across the bed.
He had known, the second he had seen Addison, he had known, but there was a part of him that had hoped that maybe, just maybe, she hadn’t been raped. But the instant he met Izzie’s eyes and the truth in them, that hope vanished. Izzie looked at him and nodded slightly. Derek knew she was giving him the answer to his unasked question.
He closed his eyes, willing himself not to give in to the flood of emotions he could feel inside him. Anger and pain, disbelief and sadness. Instead he concentrated on Addison, holding her hand, stroking her hair. Addison was staring at Bailey, wide-eyed, biting on her lip so hard Derek thought she was going to make herself bleed. She wasn’t crying and she hadn’t said a word since Bailey had started, but a couple times he heard her whimper softly and her nails dug a little harder into his hand.
Finally Bailed pulled back.
“Okay,” she said gently. “We’re done with that part. Addison, you’re doing really great. Now we just have to collect some samples.”
Bailey turned to Izzie.
“Wait!”
All three heads spun to face Addison. She was staring at Bailey, and Derek could actually see her shaking from the fear.
“Addison?” he said.
She kept her eyes on Bailey. “I … I need … I want …I … Did …Was I …?” Addison trailed off, her eyes shifting downward to stare at the blanket covering her chest.
They all knew what she was trying to ask.
Bailey drew in a deep breath, then stood up, coming around to the side of the bed where she stopped just behind Derek. She reached down and gently touched Addison’s hand where Derek was holding it. Izzie moved to the opposite side and laid her hand softly on her other arm.
Addison raised her eyes to meet Bailey’s. “No …”
“I’m so sorry, Addison,” Bailey said.
Addison’s eyes flicked between the three of them. Tears sprang to her eyes and she shook her head furiously. “No!” she said loudly.
“Addison, I’m so sorry,” Bailey said again.
“No! Maybe you did it wrong? Maybe …” Addison stopped talking as she took in the pained expression on Bailey’s face. Slowly she turned her head to look at Izzie’s equally pained expression and then she shifted so she was facing Derek.
“Oh, Addie.” Derek could barely talk. His throat felt so dry.
Without warning, Addison jerked both her hands out of all their grips, quickly shoving the palms of her hands into her eyes. She lunged to the side closest to Izzie, trying to turn over, probably to hide, but her legs still in the stirrups prohibited her and she let out a cry, loud and pained and the worst thing Derek had ever heard.
The three doctors watched as Addison pressed her hands harder against her eyes, her shoulders heaving, her breath turning shallow and quick. Finally Bailey nodded toward Izzie, then toward the door, leaning in to whisper to Derek, “We’ll give you a minute.”
The two of them left the room without another word. Derek stood up and made his way to the other side of the bed, bending down so he was eye level with Addison.
“Addie?” he said gently. He reached out slowly, letting his fingers barely skim over hers, touching her only enough so she would know he was there.
Addison didn’t answer, just pressed her hands even harder still against her eyes. Through her arms, Derek watched the myriad emotions play over her face as she struggled not to give in to the grief.
Finally, after a few more quick breaths, she slowly dropped her hands. She was blinking furiously as tears glistened in her eyes, little droplets of water clinging to her eyelashes. Her bruised and swollen left eye looked even puffier after the pressure she had put on it.
“Tell me it’s not true,” she whispered. Derek took both her hands in his.
“I wish I could.”
“But … but Derek … but what do I do now?” Addison peered up at him. She looked so sad, so broken, Derek had an urge to pull her into his arms and hold her, but he wasn’t sure she was ready for that, so instead he squeezed her hands.
“You’re doing what you’re supposed to do,” he said. “You’re letting them examine you. The rest … the rest we figure out later. We take it one minute at a time, okay?”
Addison nodded. Derek let go of her injured hand to brush away a few tears that were making their way down her cheek.
“It’s okay to cry, Addie.”
“I want to go home.”
“As soon as you’re done.”
“I don’t want to be alone.”
“You won’t be alone. We’ll make sure someone stays with you.”
“Will you… will you stay with me?”
Derek felt his heart break at the pleading look on her face. “I don’t know that I can,” he started, but stopped as the door opened, and Bailey and Izzie walked back in, thankfully drawing Addison’s attention away before she heard his answer. He couldn’t think that far ahead right now, and the last thing he wanted to do was hurt her any more than she was already hurting.
“Okay?” Bailey said to Addison, who turned wide-eyed back to Derek again. He nodded for her.
“Okay,” Bailey said as Derek stood up and returned to his original spot by Addison’s other side, and she and Izzie moved back to the end of the bed.
“Okay, Addison,” Bailey started. “We have to get some samples now.”
Bailey and Izzie worked fast. Derek watched as Bailey started to gather the evidence for the rape kit, taking swabs from between Addison’s legs and asking her to chew on a piece of paper and spit on to a piece of gauze so they could get samples of her saliva to compare to any other fluids they might find. Derek wasn’t sure Addison should have been watching all of this, but when he whispered to her to lay back and close her eyes, she didn’t move. He wondered if she’d heard him at all and decided to just let her be.
The silence in the room was palpable, the tension broken only by the sounds of Addison’s still ragged breaths, the tinkering of instruments, the scribble of Izzie’s pen and the sound of Bailey’s voice, issuing instructions to Izzie or telling Addison what she was doing next.
They had to brush her hair, to collect any evidence that might be there, as well as have more DNA to compare everything to. Derek let go of Addison’s hand with his left one, making sure to keep holding on with his other, and slid his arm behind her back. He felt her body tense as he touched her.
“It’s just me. I’ve got you,” he whispered as he gently pushed her forward off the pillow, so Izzie had full access to her head.
Izzie took the brush to Addison’s long red strands, most of them now tangled and dirty and mixed with dried blood, Addison whimpering softly when the brush snagged a knotty patch.
“I’m sorry,” Izzie said quickly, patting her on the arm. Derek noticed Addison flinch at the contact.
Bailey moved up beside Derek.
“We need to pull a couple strands of hair for a comparison, Addison,” Bailey said. “You can do it if you’d like.”
Addison turned her head to Derek and shook her head.
“No,” she whispered. It was the first thing she had said since they had resumed the examination.
Bailey smiled at her, although Derek noticed the motion didn’t spread past her lips.
“That’s okay. We can do it.”
Together Bailey and Izzie tugged out a couple of pieces of hair from different spots on her head. Then they moved back down between her legs, this time collecting samples of pubic hair.
Addison didn’t make a sound, but Derek saw a drop of blood slip down her chin as she bit down hard on her lip.
They took fingernail clippings next, Izzie lifting Addison’s hands one at a time to first scrape under her nails, then trim them and bag the samples. Bailey helped Izzie hold Addison’s broken arm when they did that one, Derek swallowing quickly when he realized how swollen it was getting. Derek kept hold of her good hand when Izzie switched to his side, moving his hand so he was gently fingering Addison’s palm, leaving her fingers for Izzie to work with.
The photographs were the worst. Derek knew they had to take them, and he knew Addison knew too. She almost seemed frozen as Bailey snapped photos of the bruises on and between her legs, on her arms, across her back and covering her face. But it was when Derek and Izzie slowly worked together to slide Addison’s hospital gown down her arms so Bailey could get pictures of the bruises on her chest that Addison began to cry.
“Addie,” Derek said sadly as tears streamed down her cheeks.
“I don’t want to do this any more.” She instinctively moved her arms to cover her bare breasts, turning so she was looking only at Derek and no one else. “Please?”
“Hey.” Derek leaned over and pressed his fingertips lightly to her temple. “You’re doing so good. You’re almost done.”
“But I … I … I want to stop.” Her voice hitched, and she drew her arms even tighter around herself.
“I know. I know you do, Addie. But you’re almost done.” Derek moved his fingers down to wipe some of the tears off her cheeks.
Addison shook her head forcefully. “No-o-o-o ….”
“Addie, please,” he whispered. “It’s okay. You’re almost there. And look — Izzie will turn around. She won’t watch …”
“I’m turning around now,” Izzie said.
“… and Bailey will just take a couple pictures. It will be really fast. All you have to do is close your eyes and squeeze my hand, and it will be over really soon. I promise.”
Addison seemed to be studying him. He watched as, through her tears, she scanned his face, then looked directly into his eyes for what seemed to be an eternity, but in reality was probably mere seconds.
Finally she nodded. But she didn’t move.
Derek took that as a yes and gently dropped his hands to her shoulders, pressing her back into the pillows.
“Close your eyes, Addie,” he said, and this time she complied.
After a brief nod from Bailey, Derek slowly loosened Addison’s fingers from where she was gripping her arms and, one arm at a time, pulled her hands away from her chest and brought them back down to her sides, making sure to keep her right hand cradled in his.
Bailey kept her word; she was done in a matter of seconds. But Derek barely noticed. Instead he was focused on the purple welts that were forming along her breasts and the huge bruise that seemed to cover her entire left side. Bailey noticed it too.
“Broken rib?” she whispered to him, pointing.
“Are you … are you done?” Addison’s small voice brought Derek back to reality.
“We are, Addie. You did really good.”
He pulled his eyes away from her bruises and instead concentrated on helping Bailey slide her hospital gown back up to where it belonged, then sitting her up and tying it in place behind her.
“It’s over?” Addison asked hopefully once they had her positioned back against her pillows.
“We just need to draw some blood,” Bailey told her, again forcing a smile on to her face. “And I’m going to give you a couple shots to prevent any STDs, okay? And Izzie can give you the morning-after pill.”
A few minutes later, blood had been drawn, Addison had been given her shots and she’d swallowed the pill Izzie had handed her without question.
“I can go home now?” Addison turned to Derek, and he almost thought he saw a glimmer of hope on her face.
He forced himself to smile. “You can go home now.”
“Actually,” Bailey’s voice sounded behind him. “She can’t.”
“What?” Derek turned to look at Bailey.
“But Derek said …” The hope in Addison’s eyes had died.
“You need to get that wrist of yours examined,” Bailey said.
Addison shook her head. “No. It’s okay. It’s fine.”
“Addison.”
“It’s fine. I can do it later. Really.”
“Really?” Before Addison could answer, Bailey had leaned over and poked her wrist.
“Ow!”
“Tell me again your wrist is fine,” Bailey ordered.
As Derek watched, Addison narrowed her eyes at Bailey and glared, as though she were trying to force the other woman to see things her way through sheer determination.
“It’s fine,” she hissed.
Bailey wasn’t fazed. She leaned in, so she was staring directly back at Addison, and when she spoke, all traces of the sweet and tender Bailey had vanished.
“Listen to me, young lady. That hand is not fine. And no matter how many times you tell me it is, it is not going to make it fine. So you are going to get that wrist X-rayed and get it in a cast, and you are not going to argue with me. Because there is no way in hell that I am letting the best damn neonatal surgeon in the country leave here with a broken wrist. There are babies to be saved and mothers who need surgery, and I sure as hell am not going to tell them that our star surgeon can’t work on them because she was too darn stubborn to get her own wrist taken care of.”
Bailey leaned in a little farther, but this time her voice was softer.
“Addison, I know you’ve been through a lot. And I know someone hurt you really badly today. That person stole a lot of things from you. Don’t let them take your career too.”
Then without another word, Bailey pulled back and headed to the door.
Once she was gone, Addison turned to Derek.
“Okay. I’ll do it.”
