LJ Idol Week 15: Periphery

[flipflop_diva]

Every day they walk by her window. At seven fifteen in the morning, they pass by going east. She knows their names and where they live. She knows their favorite colors and what they like to eat. She knows the details of what is going on in their lives, but they know nothing of hers.

She always hears them talking. She leaves her window open a crack, and their conversations float through, like bubbles being carried on the wind. Her mother used to scold her for listening to people outside her window while leaving the curtains drawn tight.

“Don’t spy on the neighbors,” her mother used to say, but she doesn’t consider it spying. She just likes to hear about the lives she’ll never be part of.

Today, they are talking about prom. It’s coming up this Saturday. She knows that Anna Maria’s boyfriend dumped her last week, so she’s going with the quarterback of the football team to make him jealous. She knows Sarah’s mom let her buy a $500 dress that is long and silver and seems to sparkle when she twirls. She knows that Tanner and Lauren are going together, though they laugh when the others tease them about it and insist they are just friends. She knows they really aren’t just friends, though. She can tell by the way they talk to each other.

She used to dream about what her life could have been like, if she was part of the group that walks by her window every day. She would have gone to prom with James McDonald. She’d had a crush on him when she was thirteen years old and he sat down beside her in math class. He played the trombone in the school marching band and never shut up about comic books and Star Wars, but she used to listen to him as though she were hypnotized.

Jessica’s mom is renting them all a limo, and the after party that their parents don’t know about is going to be at Trent’s house. She’s never been in a limo, but she thinks that would have been fun to go to her prom that way.

The group disappears down the street, and the echo of their laughter fades along with them. It’s quiet on her street during the daytime, everyone else gone to school or work. She opens her curtains and looks out, but all she sees is a stray car every now and then and a tricolored kitten that wanders the neighborhood. Sometimes she hears birds chirping or the tricolored kitten meowing. Occasionally, her neighbor’s golden retriever runs outside and barks, but even the dog spends most of his days sleeping.

At three o’clock each day, she closes her window curtains again and waits patiently. And every day around three ten, the group returns, walking west. Sometimes it’s just two of them, or three, or maybe four. Anna Maria and Jessica are cheerleaders, and they have practice a lot after school. Tanner plays basketball. Lauren works on the school yearbook. Sarah tutors younger students.

Today is a rare day. All six of them are walking past her window. They’re talking about graduation. Sarah got in to Harvard a couple months ago. She talked about it for weeks. Lauren and Anna Maria are going to community college. Trent is joining the army.

Once upon a time, she wanted to go to college too. She used to dream about going to MIT and studying biology. From there, she was going to go to med school or perhaps be a researcher. Maybe find the cure to cancer. She had always been smart. But life had other plans for her.

Once upon a time, the six people walking by her window used to stop and wave to her. Sometimes they’d even come to her door to see how she was doing. But she stopping answering the door and stopped waving back a long time ago, and they stopped trying. Now, they barely ever glance at her house. She thinks they probably barely remember she’s there.

“You need to live your life,” her mother used to say.

But her mother didn’t understand. The six people walking in front of her house right now don’t understand either.

She turns away from listening to them talk about the epic graduation party that Jessica wants to host. She looks around the room she almost never leaves. Most traces of personal touches have long disappeared. Everything now is white and sterile. The sound of the machines that help keep her alive hum non-stop in the background.

She will never graduate or go to college. She will never date James McDonald or go to prom. Her doctors have told her she won’t live to see eighteen.

She is seventeen years old.

Her birthday is next week.



fiction.
although i do sometimes spy on my neighbors.




Thank you for reading! This was written for Week 15 of the therealljidol. If you would like to read the other entries, you can find them here!

Comments

[bellatrix_lestrange]

This is so well written, and so heart-breaking! D:

[babydramatic_1950]

So sad and so poignant.

[rayaso]

Good job! I wondered if the narrator weren't confined to the room for some medial reason. How sad to listen to the life you could have had pass you by, and what will happen when the kids no longer walk by her window twice a day? I'm sure you don't spy on your neighbors -- you're really just watching to keep everyone safe.

[bleodswean]

Hers is definitely a life lived on the periphery of the "window walkers" lives. You really captured that aspect very well! I also like the introduction of the idea of spying versus listening.

[haldoor]

Beautifully done, although just a little heartbreaking.

[halfshellvenus]

Nicely told, and wrapped up tightly at the end!

[dmousey]

How did she end up being confined? Poor thing. Nicely inked. 😐🐭🐁🐞✌🎀

[sonreir]

Oh, this is beautifully sad. Well done!

[murielle]

Heartwrenching! So many live lives on the periphery and you've captured it. Beautifully done! Brava!

[alycewilson]

Sobering. I think few people would choose to live that way.

[static_abyss]

This was sad, but in an introspective kind of way. The last lines really drove that home. Well done.

[itsjust_c]

This is such a heart-breaking story, but really beautifully written.

I suspected the reason she was confined to her room was that either she was agoraphobic or was actually an elderly lady (but still with an older mother), but your ending is even sadder. x