LJ Idol Week 3: Everything looks like a nail

[flipflop_diva]

My dad probably should have been a marketing executive for Nike. I think he’s been uttering “Just do it” at people since he emerged from the womb.

Have homework that’s stressing you out? “Just do it.” Have to do what feels like a hundred different errands? “Just do it.” Need to clean the house and bake the food and decorate for a kid’s birthday party? “Just do it.”

There is no problem, according to my dad, that cannot be solved by just doing whatever it is you are supposed to be doing. And if you are not doing it, then you are lazy.

Which, of course, leads to the impasse between my dad and me.

Because I am nothing if not the very epitome of a last-minute deadline junkie. I never did a homework assignment more than twelve hours before it was due. I never remember to reorder my contacts until I pull the last one out of the box. I wait until the gas tank is dipping down to empty before I stop to fill it up.

My whole entire career is based around deadlines for a reason. If I can do something tomorrow, then yes, I will do it tomorrow.

But besides being a procrastinator, I am also a perfectionist. I dread starting things in the fear that they won’t be good enough at the end. I worry about failing before I even start. I make elaborate plans in my head that I want to achieve to the ultimate perfection but never do because I scare myself into thinking they won’t be enough if I try.

My dad thinks these are excuses and a character flaw. Maybe they are. After all, his house is always clean and the lawn is always mowed and the car is always washed, and whenever something goes wrong — the A.C. breaks or the toilet overflows — it’s working again almost as quickly as it stopped.

But then I try to remind myself that it’s easy to have time when you’re retired. And when he wasn’t, he had my mom to do the cooking and the cleaning and taking care of my sister and me.

I called him over the weekend to see how he was doing.

“Are you unpacked yet?” he asked. After all, we had moved into our new house more than two weeks ago now.

“Getting there,” I said, if by getting there I meant the kitchen was actually pretty put together and the new furniture was bought and we knew what boxes most of the important stuff was living in for the time being.

“It should be done by now,” my dad said, because of course my dad would say that.

I thought about asking him if he would like to watch the baby for hours on end while we unpacked, or maybe he could do my job for me, or do the grocery shopping.

“We’re working on it,” I answered instead.

“Just do it,” he said. “Be more efficient.”

If only it were that easy. But I knew what my dad would say — anything less than just doing it was excuses — so I did what I always did with my dad. I agreed.

“Yup,” I said. “I will.”

Of course I haven’t. A total of two boxes have been unpacked since that conversation. We chose to watch football instead of unpacking. We chose to take our daughter to the pumpkin farm instead of unpacking. My dad wouldn’t understand.

But next time I talk to him and he asks about the house, I’ll tell him we’re making progress.

He’s never going to change, and at least when it comes to this, I’m probably not going to either.



This was written for Week 3 of therealljidol. I hope you enjoyed it! If you would like to read more entries, you can head over here. If you would like to vote for any of the entries, voting should be up Tuesday night at therealljidol.

Comments

[millysdaughter.livejournal.com]

We humans really don't change.
Ever.

[cacophonesque.livejournal.com]

I'm a procrastinating perfectionist, too.

[banana-galaxy.livejournal.com]

I relate to this a lot.

[nikkiii-brown.livejournal.com]

While I don't necessarily procrastinate, I do have those feelings of failing before I even start something. Always worried it's not going to be good enough. It's good that you realize you and your dad have different ways of approaching life so that makes your more understanding to seeing his view, but I'm sure it sucks that he doesn't reciprocate that understanding towards you. *hugs* Everyone's different!

[orockthro.livejournal.com]

Dads.
*sighs*

[lawchicky.livejournal.com]

Ugh- thanks for the oversimplification of everything in life dad! This would drive me batty.

[karmasoup.livejournal.com]

It's sad that he can't learn to just let you be yourself, and accept that your way of life is different. I'm sorry you've had to suffer through that your whole life. I hope there are other ways you feel love and acceptance from him.

[marlawentmad.livejournal.com]

I relate to this so much.

[halfshellvenus.livejournal.com]

if by getting there I meant the kitchen was actually pretty put together and the new furniture was bought and we knew what boxes most of the important stuff was living in for the time being.
With a baby? I'd say this is about what I would consider a pretty good effort after two weeks in a new place.

I can see why this is frustrating. Your dad has NO idea how much of his "just getting it done" was made possible by all that your mom was doing for the rest of the family.

[rayaso.livejournal.com]

"But besides being a procrastinator, I am also a perfectionist" -- now that's a stressful combination! Saying "just do it" or "be more efficient" is not a magic incantation. First there must be time, and right now he has it and you don't. As a procrastinator, it must have been difficult growing up under "just do it."

[alycewilson.livejournal.com]

Nice use of the prompt. I still have unpacked boxes in the master bedroom, and we moved two and a half years ago.

[bewize.livejournal.com]

Glad you found a compromise!

[tonithegreat.livejournal.com]

Ah, it’s good to recognize he’s just in a different place and deal with it from there. Though I myself find myself looking wistfully at the someday dream of retirement more and more as responsibilities seem to keep multiplying.

[roina-arwen.livejournal.com]

My dad was very similar to yours. ❤️

[ellison.livejournal.com]

I am a lot like you. And while my dad isn't like your dad in this particular sense, he can be very set in his ways about other things, so I get the feeling that can give a person. Like my dad won't really praise anything I accomplish, instead he'll say smugly, "Well of course you did it, you're so smart." But he'll say it so plainly it barely feels like a compliment. My mom will gush like crazy, though, which I always appreciate. "Oh my gosh, that's wonderful!!" etc. That's always what I hope to hear. Sadly, Dad will never get a clue about these things, ha!

Thanks for sharing this with us. I like how you said you took your kid to the pumpkin patch instead. A much more valuable way to spend time, to be sure! Well done!