I Promise You (1/?)
Mar. 25th, 2009 03:29 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
flipflop_divaTitle: I Promise You
Rating: R (warning: deals with rape)
Pairing: Derek/Addison
Summary: It was one broken promise, but it changed everything. AU from end of Season 3.
Disclaimer: All television shows, movies, books, and other copyrighted material referred to in this work, and the characters, settings, and events thereof, are the properties of their respective owners. As this work is an interpretation of the original material and not for-profit, it constitutes fair use. Reference to real persons, places, or events are made in a fictional context, and are not intended to be libelous, defamatory, or in any way factual.
Author’s note: I posted some of this on ff.net but I’m posting it here for two reasons — one, I’m hoping to actually finish it this time around, but more importantly, I have really grown to respect the writers on here, and the great critiques people leave. I’m hoping people will be kind enough to give me some of that criticism as well.
Chapter 1
She is lying on the floor, exactly where he’s left her, paler than he has ever seen her. So pale, so lifeless. He reaches out, touches her cheek, but she is just staring past him, seeing something he can’t even fathom. He pulls her upright, lifts her into his arms, cradles her against his chest, his hand on the back of her head, which she nestles on his shoulder.
And then it starts. Just like it always does. He feels her tremble. He feels his shoulder
getting wet.
Then the sound. Painful, gasping cries. Like she’s breaking.
He holds her tight. How could he have left her? How could he have even thought she would do something like that?
Her sobbing increases, and his grip tightens.
“I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry.” He repeats it, over and over and over again.
“He said he loved me! He said he loved me!” She’s crying so hard she’s choking, but he understands her perfectly.
“I’m never going to let him hurt you again. I’m never going to let anyone hurt you again. I promise. I promise.
“I promise.”
Derek Shepherd’s eyes flew open. It was happening again. That dream.
No. Stop it. It was years ago. It doesn’t matter.
“Derek?” A voice spoke next to him, but before he could think, a loud ringing began in his ear and a thud echoed strangely in his mind.
Beside him, the bed began to move. Then a blinding light flooded the room.
A weight pressed on top of him, then the ringing stopped.
What the …?
Oh.
Reality began to set in. Morning. Alarms. Meredith’s house. The bedroom door apparently being flung open.
The wedding. The fight with Meredith. Meredith leaving him. Him finally tracking her down. Fighting, crying, making love.
Derek groaned. It was all coming back to him.
“Cristina?” He heard Meredith mutter next to him.
Derek shut his eyes tightly. Fatigue weighed heavily on him. Hadn’t he just fallen asleep? And that dream. Why was he having it again now? He frowned, but before he could take a moment to sort it out, he felt his arm being pulled. And not at all gently.
Derek opened his eyes to find Cristina Yang trying to push him toward the edge of the bed. She was glaring at him in that way that she had.
“Cristina, what are you doing here?” Meredith spoke sleepily from beside him.
“My fiancé just left town. My wedding was just called off. I need my person,” Cristina said, then turned back to Derek and nudged his shoulder again. “Are you going to move? I need to talk to Meredith.”
“I was sleeping,” Derek grumbled.
“Yeah, well, I was just dumped almost at the alter. I win. So move.”
One more whack from her and he was out of bed, heading for the shower.
He really didn’t want to be awake. He wanted to crawl back in bed, with his girlfriend. It was a Sunday, for God’s sake.
Derek sighed and ran his hands through his hair as he made his way down the hall.
How did everything get so complicated?, he wondered as he stepped into the bathroom only to find Alex Karev standing in a towel in front of the mirror shaving.
Alex looked up.
“Dude,” he smirked. “Don’t you have your own bathroom?”
Derek was not in the mood. “Out.”
“My bathroom,” Alex repeated.
“I’m your boss,” Derek returned.
“Whatever.” Alex shook his head, but he turned and left.
Derek turned the shower on, cranking the water temperature to the hottest it would go. He needed to think. Things with Meredith were not going well, and he didn’t know what to do. He had told her he loved her, he had told her he was in it, forever, that he couldn’t — wouldn’t — let her go. He had told her how much he loved her, and she had turned around and left him. Then at the church she had stood up there and told everyone it was over, and she was looking at him, and he knew. She was talking about them.
But he couldn’t accept it. She had vanished, after her speech, disappearing in the crowds of people talking loudly amongst themselves, all shocked by what had just happened. He’d tried to follow her, but she was just gone.
So he’d gone to the hospital and waited. He knew she would show up eventually. And she had. He had looked up and all of a sudden there she was, on the catwalk above him.
He went to her. Walked right up to her and told her, “I’m not letting you do this.”
He had been positive she was going to walk away, but she hadn’t. She walked into his arms. And now here they were this morning. Together.
But were they together? He really had no idea.
A knock on the door interrupted his reverie. Meredith stuck her head in before he had a chance to react. His cell phone was in her hand.
“For you,” she said. “Bailey. Said it’s important.”
“Why didn’t she page?” Derek asked as he took it from Mer. She shrugged but didn’t move, wanting to hear.
“Why didn’t you page?” Derek said as he put the phone to his ear. “I do read my pages.”
“Shepherd, maybe you should stop talking.” Bailey’s voice from the other end of the line was harsh and tough, like usual, but there was something else there. Derek frowned.
“Besides, it’s an emergency,” Bailey continued.
“That’s what pagers are for.”
“Not that kind of emergency.”
“What kind then?” There was a pause on the other side of the phone, and not for the first time this morning Derek felt uneasy. “Miranda, what’s going on?”
“You need to get to the hospital now.”
“Why? What’s wrong? What happened?”
“What happened?” Meredith interrupted from the door.
“Something happened where?” Alex had joined Mer. Derek was pretty sure he saw Cristina and Izzie out there too.
“Miranda, what happened?” The nervous feeling was getting stronger; Bailey hadn’t answered him.
Finally she spoke.
“She’s asking for you. Lord knows why, after what you’ve done.”
After what I’ve done? What have I done?
“Miranda!” Derek was growing frustrated now.
“It’s Addison.”
“What?”
“It’s Addison.” Bailey’s voice was back to its normal tone. Derek relaxed. “She’s asking for you.”
“Tell her I’m off today.”
“Derek ...”
“Tell her to find someone else. There are other neurosurgeons there, Miranda. I need a break. I’m taking a break.”
“No.” Anger reverberated through Bailey’s voice. “You don’t get a break.”
“What? … Miranda ...” Derek ran his hand through his wet hair. It was five in the morning. What could Addison possible need this early in the day? And why the hell could she not call him herself? He seriously was beginning to think he was missing something here. “What is going on?”
He raised an eyebrow at the group huddled around the door. They all spoke at once.
“What?”
“What?”
“Is there blood?”
“Are there surgeries?”
“This isn’t about a consult.”
Derek barely heard Bailey through the others’ questions. He shook his head at them.
“Ummm ...?” He still had no idea what was going on. “Then what? Because I’m a little busy. Can’t she get Mark or Callie or … someone … to help her. I’m kind of …”
Bailey cut him off. “Shepherd. She is asking for you. I need you to get your ass down here now. This is not a request.”
Derek had had enough. “Then tell me what the hell is going on!”
When Bailey spoke again, her voice was a whisper. But there was no denying the words that came out.
“I need you to come now, because she’s been raped, Derek. Addison’s been raped.”
Rating: R (warning: deals with rape)
Pairing: Derek/Addison
Summary: It was one broken promise, but it changed everything. AU from end of Season 3.
Disclaimer: All television shows, movies, books, and other copyrighted material referred to in this work, and the characters, settings, and events thereof, are the properties of their respective owners. As this work is an interpretation of the original material and not for-profit, it constitutes fair use. Reference to real persons, places, or events are made in a fictional context, and are not intended to be libelous, defamatory, or in any way factual.
Author’s note: I posted some of this on ff.net but I’m posting it here for two reasons — one, I’m hoping to actually finish it this time around, but more importantly, I have really grown to respect the writers on here, and the great critiques people leave. I’m hoping people will be kind enough to give me some of that criticism as well.
Chapter 1
She is lying on the floor, exactly where he’s left her, paler than he has ever seen her. So pale, so lifeless. He reaches out, touches her cheek, but she is just staring past him, seeing something he can’t even fathom. He pulls her upright, lifts her into his arms, cradles her against his chest, his hand on the back of her head, which she nestles on his shoulder.
And then it starts. Just like it always does. He feels her tremble. He feels his shoulder
getting wet.
Then the sound. Painful, gasping cries. Like she’s breaking.
He holds her tight. How could he have left her? How could he have even thought she would do something like that?
Her sobbing increases, and his grip tightens.
“I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry.” He repeats it, over and over and over again.
“He said he loved me! He said he loved me!” She’s crying so hard she’s choking, but he understands her perfectly.
“I’m never going to let him hurt you again. I’m never going to let anyone hurt you again. I promise. I promise.
“I promise.”
Derek Shepherd’s eyes flew open. It was happening again. That dream.
No. Stop it. It was years ago. It doesn’t matter.
“Derek?” A voice spoke next to him, but before he could think, a loud ringing began in his ear and a thud echoed strangely in his mind.
Beside him, the bed began to move. Then a blinding light flooded the room.
A weight pressed on top of him, then the ringing stopped.
What the …?
Oh.
Reality began to set in. Morning. Alarms. Meredith’s house. The bedroom door apparently being flung open.
The wedding. The fight with Meredith. Meredith leaving him. Him finally tracking her down. Fighting, crying, making love.
Derek groaned. It was all coming back to him.
“Cristina?” He heard Meredith mutter next to him.
Derek shut his eyes tightly. Fatigue weighed heavily on him. Hadn’t he just fallen asleep? And that dream. Why was he having it again now? He frowned, but before he could take a moment to sort it out, he felt his arm being pulled. And not at all gently.
Derek opened his eyes to find Cristina Yang trying to push him toward the edge of the bed. She was glaring at him in that way that she had.
“Cristina, what are you doing here?” Meredith spoke sleepily from beside him.
“My fiancé just left town. My wedding was just called off. I need my person,” Cristina said, then turned back to Derek and nudged his shoulder again. “Are you going to move? I need to talk to Meredith.”
“I was sleeping,” Derek grumbled.
“Yeah, well, I was just dumped almost at the alter. I win. So move.”
One more whack from her and he was out of bed, heading for the shower.
He really didn’t want to be awake. He wanted to crawl back in bed, with his girlfriend. It was a Sunday, for God’s sake.
Derek sighed and ran his hands through his hair as he made his way down the hall.
How did everything get so complicated?, he wondered as he stepped into the bathroom only to find Alex Karev standing in a towel in front of the mirror shaving.
Alex looked up.
“Dude,” he smirked. “Don’t you have your own bathroom?”
Derek was not in the mood. “Out.”
“My bathroom,” Alex repeated.
“I’m your boss,” Derek returned.
“Whatever.” Alex shook his head, but he turned and left.
Derek turned the shower on, cranking the water temperature to the hottest it would go. He needed to think. Things with Meredith were not going well, and he didn’t know what to do. He had told her he loved her, he had told her he was in it, forever, that he couldn’t — wouldn’t — let her go. He had told her how much he loved her, and she had turned around and left him. Then at the church she had stood up there and told everyone it was over, and she was looking at him, and he knew. She was talking about them.
But he couldn’t accept it. She had vanished, after her speech, disappearing in the crowds of people talking loudly amongst themselves, all shocked by what had just happened. He’d tried to follow her, but she was just gone.
So he’d gone to the hospital and waited. He knew she would show up eventually. And she had. He had looked up and all of a sudden there she was, on the catwalk above him.
He went to her. Walked right up to her and told her, “I’m not letting you do this.”
He had been positive she was going to walk away, but she hadn’t. She walked into his arms. And now here they were this morning. Together.
But were they together? He really had no idea.
A knock on the door interrupted his reverie. Meredith stuck her head in before he had a chance to react. His cell phone was in her hand.
“For you,” she said. “Bailey. Said it’s important.”
“Why didn’t she page?” Derek asked as he took it from Mer. She shrugged but didn’t move, wanting to hear.
“Why didn’t you page?” Derek said as he put the phone to his ear. “I do read my pages.”
“Shepherd, maybe you should stop talking.” Bailey’s voice from the other end of the line was harsh and tough, like usual, but there was something else there. Derek frowned.
“Besides, it’s an emergency,” Bailey continued.
“That’s what pagers are for.”
“Not that kind of emergency.”
“What kind then?” There was a pause on the other side of the phone, and not for the first time this morning Derek felt uneasy. “Miranda, what’s going on?”
“You need to get to the hospital now.”
“Why? What’s wrong? What happened?”
“What happened?” Meredith interrupted from the door.
“Something happened where?” Alex had joined Mer. Derek was pretty sure he saw Cristina and Izzie out there too.
“Miranda, what happened?” The nervous feeling was getting stronger; Bailey hadn’t answered him.
Finally she spoke.
“She’s asking for you. Lord knows why, after what you’ve done.”
After what I’ve done? What have I done?
“Miranda!” Derek was growing frustrated now.
“It’s Addison.”
“What?”
“It’s Addison.” Bailey’s voice was back to its normal tone. Derek relaxed. “She’s asking for you.”
“Tell her I’m off today.”
“Derek ...”
“Tell her to find someone else. There are other neurosurgeons there, Miranda. I need a break. I’m taking a break.”
“No.” Anger reverberated through Bailey’s voice. “You don’t get a break.”
“What? … Miranda ...” Derek ran his hand through his wet hair. It was five in the morning. What could Addison possible need this early in the day? And why the hell could she not call him herself? He seriously was beginning to think he was missing something here. “What is going on?”
He raised an eyebrow at the group huddled around the door. They all spoke at once.
“What?”
“What?”
“Is there blood?”
“Are there surgeries?”
“This isn’t about a consult.”
Derek barely heard Bailey through the others’ questions. He shook his head at them.
“Ummm ...?” He still had no idea what was going on. “Then what? Because I’m a little busy. Can’t she get Mark or Callie or … someone … to help her. I’m kind of …”
Bailey cut him off. “Shepherd. She is asking for you. I need you to get your ass down here now. This is not a request.”
Derek had had enough. “Then tell me what the hell is going on!”
When Bailey spoke again, her voice was a whisper. But there was no denying the words that came out.
“I need you to come now, because she’s been raped, Derek. Addison’s been raped.”
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2009-03-25 10:20 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-03-26 07:19 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-03-25 11:07 pm (UTC)Oh Addie :(
Gah, I'm hooked. Can't wait to read more, amazing work x
no subject
Date: 2009-03-26 07:21 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-03-25 11:18 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-03-26 07:23 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-03-26 02:00 am (UTC)Like the other poster, I liked the sort of disconnect between Derek being in the intern house and Bailey's anguish about Addison. I can't wait to read more. Update soon!
no subject
Date: 2009-03-26 07:26 am (UTC)I'm glad you liked the disconnect — that's totally what I was going for. I was trying to make it just one of those moments where you're going along, thinking everything is (mostly) normal, and then something happens to totally change all that. I'm glad it worked.
And more will be up very soon!
no subject
Date: 2009-03-26 07:00 am (UTC)Looking forward to Addek angst and hopefully a conclusion!
no subject
Date: 2009-03-26 07:29 am (UTC)I haven't updated on ff forever, but I do have pretty much the whole (very angsty) story written in my head. It's just a matter of putting it down on paper. But I'm confident that this time I will do! ;)
no subject
Date: 2009-03-26 09:56 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-03-27 03:59 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-03-29 02:03 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-03-29 07:29 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-03-30 01:04 pm (UTC)Are you going to write more?
Let me know.
no subject
Date: 2009-04-01 04:10 pm (UTC)