I Promise You (3/?)
Jun. 18th, 2009 03:12 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
flipflop_divaTitle: I Promise You (3/?)
Rating: R (Warning: deals with rape)
Pairing: Derek/Addison
Summary: It was one broken promise, but it changed everything. AU from end of Season 3.
Disclaimer: All television shows, movies, books, and other copyrighted material referred to in this work, and the characters, settings, and events thereof, are the properties of their respective owners. As this work is an interpretation of the original material and not for-profit, it constitutes fair use. Reference to real persons, places, or events are made in a fictional context, and are not intended to be libelous, defamatory, or in any way factual.
Author's note: Okay, I am SO, SO sorry for the massive delay. Let's just say a wedding, a funeral and three insanely huge work projects all conspired against me. I think, though, that I should be back on track. Thanks for your patience, and for reading!
Chapter 3
She was on her right side, facing toward him when he walked in, curled into a ball, her knees pulled as close to her chest as she could get them, her left arm wrapped around them. In her right hand she clutched a blanket that had probably at one time covered her up but now barely covered her chest.
It was her face, though, that Derek noticed first. At least he noticed the bruises. They were everywhere, or so it seemed. The left side of her face was almost unrecognizable; already ugly purple bruises were beginning to appear, although underneath them she was whiter than he could ever remember seeing her. Her left eye was almost swollen shut, and even from a distance, he could see the dried blood on her chin and below her nose. Blood, he realized, that didn’t get wiped away, because she refused to let anyone touch her.
As he moved slowly across the room toward her, afraid to make any noise that might scare her — although her eyes were open and she was watching him the whole time — he noticed her hair. It was messy and knotty, but when he drew closer he realized the whole left side of her head was matted in congealed blood.
Derek had to force down the bile he felt rise up in his throat.
Surprisingly, Addison was the one to speak first.
“Derek?” It was a whisper, more a croak than a word, but he heard her.
“Hey, Addie,” he said as softly and as gently as he could.
He was almost to her side. He reached out a hand in her direction. She flinched, and only then did he notice she was trembling.
His arm fell back to his side, and he quickly stuffed his hands in the pockets of the dirty jeans he had somehow managed to throw on not all that long ago.
The woman in front of him looked nothing like the woman he once was married to. She looked so small, so fragile, so broken, so unlike Addison. The Addison he knew was tough and confident and strong. Sometimes almost too strong.
Derek felt tears sting his eyes, and he blinked to force them back. He could feel the well of emotions beginning to rise inside him, a mixture of anger and sadness, horror and regret.
He shook his head to clear his thoughts, to force all the feelings back down. He couldn’t do this now. Not yet. Addison needed him.
Addison spoke again.
“You … You came.” Again he could barely understand her. He found himself wondering if he should go find her a glass of water or ice chips or something.
Instead he answered her. “Of course I came.”
Even through the bruises, Derek noticed the small flicker of surprise that registered across her face, but she didn’t say anything. Instead she just nodded slightly.
He was close to her now, and he trailed his eyes from her face down the rest of her body. It was then he noticed her right hand. It was clenched around the blanket, just below her chin, almost as though she hoped the blanket would protect her from the world. But it wasn’t that which made him stop. There were bruises on her wrist. Small purple bruises. Like fingers. Derek started. Someone had held her down.
For the first time since he’d gotten the phone call, Derek felt the surge of anger and pure hatred well up from the pit of his stomach. He had been too shocked, too stunned, too worried before, but now. Looking at her, he realized for the first time the full extent of what had happened. Someone had hurt her, and at that moment, more than anything in the world, Derek wanted to find that person and make him pay.
It was a reaction that surprised him. He hated to admit that, but it was true. He was so used to not having to worry about her, to not having to care. But this …
Derek closed his eyes, willing the urge to go away. He couldn’t do this right now. Addison was scared. He needed to be calm for her.
Opening his eyes, Derek motioned slowly to the chair that was positioned just next to her bed. Addison didn’t move, but her eyes followed Derek as he closed the distance between them and sunk into the seat.
For a few seconds, his eyes met hers, and they both just stared. To Derek it felt like hours, neither of them moving, Derek not knowing what in hell to do now.
Finally, he let instinct take over.
“I’m not going to hurt you,” he said quietly. “You’re safe here. I promise.” He paused. “Okay?”
He waited until she nodded, then slowly he reached out, carefully, inch by inch, with his right hand and gently lowered it until his fingertips were resting on her cheek. He could feel her shaking, but she didn’t pull away.
“Oh, Addie,” he whispered over the lump that suddenly appeared in his throat. He moved his hand to her forehead, gently stroking her hair. “I’m so sorry.”
He felt his eyes well with tears as he watched her watch him.
“I … I want … I want to go home.”
He could understand her perfectly this time, but her voice was still so soft, so small. He had to lean in to hear her.
“Add …”
“I want to go home.”
He looked into her eyes. He had forgotten how much he had always loved looking into them. They were so wide, so expressive, so beautiful. Sometimes they were a deep blue, but today they were almost as pale as she was.
“Addie …”
“Please?” It was more a whimper than a question.
“Addie, you can’t go home yet.”
He watched as Addison blinked, then looked down at her hand that was gripping the blanket.
“Why?”
Derek decided to change tactics. “Bailey says your wrist is hurt,” he said softly, gesturing to her left hand, then resuming stroking her hair. “Does your wrist hurt?”
Addison didn’t answer. He saw her bottom lip quiver.
“Can I look at it?”
Still nothing. But a moment later she nodded slightly.
Derek smiled at her, the best McDreamy smile he could muster. It probably didn’t look like much, but he felt the urge to do anything he could to make her feel safe. He wanted desperately to ask her what happened, but he knew it would be futile at this point. She wasn’t ready, and he knew it.
Instead, he removed his hand from her hair and brought it down carefully to her arm, which was still wrapped as tight as she could get it around her knees. Carefully and as gently as possible, he lifted it up.
He saw right away what Bailey was talking about. Already her wrist was turning a hideous shade of purple, and even with just one soft touch over her swollen skin, he knew there were bones out of place.
He turned his attention back to her face, meeting her eyes.
“What if we get your friend Callie to fix this for you?” Derek spoke gently. “Would that be okay?”
Addison’s lip quivered again, and Derek felt his heart break. He wanted to pull her into his arms, hold her tightly, but he knew that would only frighten her more.
It all felt so unreal, so unnatural. Derek couldn’t remember the last time he had held Addison, had comforted her. He couldn’t even remember the last time he had wanted to. So much had happened between them. Mark. Meredith. Work. Life. They were so different from who they had once been. So much had changed.
But for the first time since he had come to Seattle, none of that mattered.
“Addie,” he whispered. “Let me get Callie. She can help you.”
“No. I want you.”
“Addie …” Derek had no idea if she was talking in general or about her wrist.
“You came.”
Derek lowered her arm back down, then reached up again to stroke her hair.
“I came,” he said softly. “Of course I come.”
“Why?” Addison was whispering.
“Because you asked me to.” Before he could continue, the sound of footsteps echoed behind him.
Derek turned around to see Bailey making her way toward them.
“Shepherd, can I talk to you?” She gestured with her head to indicate she meant alone.
He nodded.
“No!”
Addison’s cry stopped him before he could make a move to stand up. “No! Don’t!”
He turned quickly back toward her. Her eyes were wide, and she was struggling to grab on to him with her broken hand.
Instantly Derek reached out, trying to still her.
“Addie, hey. Shhhh. It’s okay, it’s okay,” he said soothingly, stroking her arm and leaning down to whisper in her ear. “I’m not going anywhere. I’m not going anywhere.”
He turned back to Bailey.
“I’m not going anywhere right now,” he said.
She nodded. “Have you …?”
Derek shook his head. “Not yet. We need a little more time.”
“Okay.” Bailey pursed her lips thoughtfully. “Do you want me to send Callie in? We can get a cast on that wrist.”
Derek turned back to Addison. “Addie?” But she was already shaking her head.
“No,” she whispered. “No. No, I don’t want to. I want to go home. Derek, I want to go home. Please take me home. Please? Please?”
Derek kept rubbing her arm, as gently as he could, feeling a hand on his own shoulder.
“I’ll be back in a little bit,” he heard Bailey whisper in his ear. “I’ll get everything ready.”
Then she was gone, leaving him alone with Addison once more.
“I wanna go home, I wanna go home, I wanna go home, I wanna go home …”
Derek sighed sadly. Addison had begun rocking slightly from side to side, her eyes brimming with tears.
“Shhh, Addie, shhhh,” he said again. “I’m here. I’m here. You can go home soon. I promise. You can go home soon.”
“I wanna go home, I wanna go home, I wanna go home …”
Derek closed his eyes. How in the world was he ever going to get her to agree?
Rating: R (Warning: deals with rape)
Pairing: Derek/Addison
Summary: It was one broken promise, but it changed everything. AU from end of Season 3.
Disclaimer: All television shows, movies, books, and other copyrighted material referred to in this work, and the characters, settings, and events thereof, are the properties of their respective owners. As this work is an interpretation of the original material and not for-profit, it constitutes fair use. Reference to real persons, places, or events are made in a fictional context, and are not intended to be libelous, defamatory, or in any way factual.
Author's note: Okay, I am SO, SO sorry for the massive delay. Let's just say a wedding, a funeral and three insanely huge work projects all conspired against me. I think, though, that I should be back on track. Thanks for your patience, and for reading!
Chapter 3
She was on her right side, facing toward him when he walked in, curled into a ball, her knees pulled as close to her chest as she could get them, her left arm wrapped around them. In her right hand she clutched a blanket that had probably at one time covered her up but now barely covered her chest.
It was her face, though, that Derek noticed first. At least he noticed the bruises. They were everywhere, or so it seemed. The left side of her face was almost unrecognizable; already ugly purple bruises were beginning to appear, although underneath them she was whiter than he could ever remember seeing her. Her left eye was almost swollen shut, and even from a distance, he could see the dried blood on her chin and below her nose. Blood, he realized, that didn’t get wiped away, because she refused to let anyone touch her.
As he moved slowly across the room toward her, afraid to make any noise that might scare her — although her eyes were open and she was watching him the whole time — he noticed her hair. It was messy and knotty, but when he drew closer he realized the whole left side of her head was matted in congealed blood.
Derek had to force down the bile he felt rise up in his throat.
Surprisingly, Addison was the one to speak first.
“Derek?” It was a whisper, more a croak than a word, but he heard her.
“Hey, Addie,” he said as softly and as gently as he could.
He was almost to her side. He reached out a hand in her direction. She flinched, and only then did he notice she was trembling.
His arm fell back to his side, and he quickly stuffed his hands in the pockets of the dirty jeans he had somehow managed to throw on not all that long ago.
The woman in front of him looked nothing like the woman he once was married to. She looked so small, so fragile, so broken, so unlike Addison. The Addison he knew was tough and confident and strong. Sometimes almost too strong.
Derek felt tears sting his eyes, and he blinked to force them back. He could feel the well of emotions beginning to rise inside him, a mixture of anger and sadness, horror and regret.
He shook his head to clear his thoughts, to force all the feelings back down. He couldn’t do this now. Not yet. Addison needed him.
Addison spoke again.
“You … You came.” Again he could barely understand her. He found himself wondering if he should go find her a glass of water or ice chips or something.
Instead he answered her. “Of course I came.”
Even through the bruises, Derek noticed the small flicker of surprise that registered across her face, but she didn’t say anything. Instead she just nodded slightly.
He was close to her now, and he trailed his eyes from her face down the rest of her body. It was then he noticed her right hand. It was clenched around the blanket, just below her chin, almost as though she hoped the blanket would protect her from the world. But it wasn’t that which made him stop. There were bruises on her wrist. Small purple bruises. Like fingers. Derek started. Someone had held her down.
For the first time since he’d gotten the phone call, Derek felt the surge of anger and pure hatred well up from the pit of his stomach. He had been too shocked, too stunned, too worried before, but now. Looking at her, he realized for the first time the full extent of what had happened. Someone had hurt her, and at that moment, more than anything in the world, Derek wanted to find that person and make him pay.
It was a reaction that surprised him. He hated to admit that, but it was true. He was so used to not having to worry about her, to not having to care. But this …
Derek closed his eyes, willing the urge to go away. He couldn’t do this right now. Addison was scared. He needed to be calm for her.
Opening his eyes, Derek motioned slowly to the chair that was positioned just next to her bed. Addison didn’t move, but her eyes followed Derek as he closed the distance between them and sunk into the seat.
For a few seconds, his eyes met hers, and they both just stared. To Derek it felt like hours, neither of them moving, Derek not knowing what in hell to do now.
Finally, he let instinct take over.
“I’m not going to hurt you,” he said quietly. “You’re safe here. I promise.” He paused. “Okay?”
He waited until she nodded, then slowly he reached out, carefully, inch by inch, with his right hand and gently lowered it until his fingertips were resting on her cheek. He could feel her shaking, but she didn’t pull away.
“Oh, Addie,” he whispered over the lump that suddenly appeared in his throat. He moved his hand to her forehead, gently stroking her hair. “I’m so sorry.”
He felt his eyes well with tears as he watched her watch him.
“I … I want … I want to go home.”
He could understand her perfectly this time, but her voice was still so soft, so small. He had to lean in to hear her.
“Add …”
“I want to go home.”
He looked into her eyes. He had forgotten how much he had always loved looking into them. They were so wide, so expressive, so beautiful. Sometimes they were a deep blue, but today they were almost as pale as she was.
“Addie …”
“Please?” It was more a whimper than a question.
“Addie, you can’t go home yet.”
He watched as Addison blinked, then looked down at her hand that was gripping the blanket.
“Why?”
Derek decided to change tactics. “Bailey says your wrist is hurt,” he said softly, gesturing to her left hand, then resuming stroking her hair. “Does your wrist hurt?”
Addison didn’t answer. He saw her bottom lip quiver.
“Can I look at it?”
Still nothing. But a moment later she nodded slightly.
Derek smiled at her, the best McDreamy smile he could muster. It probably didn’t look like much, but he felt the urge to do anything he could to make her feel safe. He wanted desperately to ask her what happened, but he knew it would be futile at this point. She wasn’t ready, and he knew it.
Instead, he removed his hand from her hair and brought it down carefully to her arm, which was still wrapped as tight as she could get it around her knees. Carefully and as gently as possible, he lifted it up.
He saw right away what Bailey was talking about. Already her wrist was turning a hideous shade of purple, and even with just one soft touch over her swollen skin, he knew there were bones out of place.
He turned his attention back to her face, meeting her eyes.
“What if we get your friend Callie to fix this for you?” Derek spoke gently. “Would that be okay?”
Addison’s lip quivered again, and Derek felt his heart break. He wanted to pull her into his arms, hold her tightly, but he knew that would only frighten her more.
It all felt so unreal, so unnatural. Derek couldn’t remember the last time he had held Addison, had comforted her. He couldn’t even remember the last time he had wanted to. So much had happened between them. Mark. Meredith. Work. Life. They were so different from who they had once been. So much had changed.
But for the first time since he had come to Seattle, none of that mattered.
“Addie,” he whispered. “Let me get Callie. She can help you.”
“No. I want you.”
“Addie …” Derek had no idea if she was talking in general or about her wrist.
“You came.”
Derek lowered her arm back down, then reached up again to stroke her hair.
“I came,” he said softly. “Of course I come.”
“Why?” Addison was whispering.
“Because you asked me to.” Before he could continue, the sound of footsteps echoed behind him.
Derek turned around to see Bailey making her way toward them.
“Shepherd, can I talk to you?” She gestured with her head to indicate she meant alone.
He nodded.
“No!”
Addison’s cry stopped him before he could make a move to stand up. “No! Don’t!”
He turned quickly back toward her. Her eyes were wide, and she was struggling to grab on to him with her broken hand.
Instantly Derek reached out, trying to still her.
“Addie, hey. Shhhh. It’s okay, it’s okay,” he said soothingly, stroking her arm and leaning down to whisper in her ear. “I’m not going anywhere. I’m not going anywhere.”
He turned back to Bailey.
“I’m not going anywhere right now,” he said.
She nodded. “Have you …?”
Derek shook his head. “Not yet. We need a little more time.”
“Okay.” Bailey pursed her lips thoughtfully. “Do you want me to send Callie in? We can get a cast on that wrist.”
Derek turned back to Addison. “Addie?” But she was already shaking her head.
“No,” she whispered. “No. No, I don’t want to. I want to go home. Derek, I want to go home. Please take me home. Please? Please?”
Derek kept rubbing her arm, as gently as he could, feeling a hand on his own shoulder.
“I’ll be back in a little bit,” he heard Bailey whisper in his ear. “I’ll get everything ready.”
Then she was gone, leaving him alone with Addison once more.
“I wanna go home, I wanna go home, I wanna go home, I wanna go home …”
Derek sighed sadly. Addison had begun rocking slightly from side to side, her eyes brimming with tears.
“Shhh, Addie, shhhh,” he said again. “I’m here. I’m here. You can go home soon. I promise. You can go home soon.”
“I wanna go home, I wanna go home, I wanna go home …”
Derek closed his eyes. How in the world was he ever going to get her to agree?
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Date: 2009-06-18 10:04 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-06-19 10:54 pm (UTC)