flipflop_diva

For this to make any sense, you can find the whole saga in earlier installments.
The prologue.
Chapter 1: Audrey.
Chapter 2: Kelley.

Jenna

She accepts a plate of chips, crackers and a mix of strawberries, cantaloupe and pineapple from Kelley with a smile, but inside her chest, her heart is racing, and she begins to feel faint.

She’s not sure how, but she has an awful feeling that Kelley knows her secret. One of her secrets anyway. And if Kelley knows, how much longer will it be until the others know? Will Kelley tell them? Or will they figure it out the same way?

And once they know, then what? She doesn’t even want to imagine what will happen if Audrey or Lizzie find out. She knows it might be disastrous, though, and she feels her face flush in shame and regret at the thought.

Fuck. She’s turning red. If someone looks over at her right now ...

She shoves a chip in her mouth and quickly begins coughing, causing the other girls to look over at her, worried expressions on their faces.

“Jenna!” Kelley hands a plate to Audrey and then starts to turn back to her, but Jenna waves her off.

“Just ate a chip wrong,” she manages to splutter through her fake coughing, and she sees the relief on everyone’s faces. “I’m so dumb.”

The other girls laugh and go back to what they are doing. She watches Kelley hand the fourth plate to Lizzie and then drop down on the lounge chair beside her, stretching her legs out as she begins to eat.

Jenna tries not to look visibly relieved. She needs to be more careful with her thoughts before she makes everything even more obvious than it apparently already is. She picks her magazine up that she’s been trying to read — trying a very apt word. She’s been reading the same article about the best tips for makeup for an hour now — and hides her face behind it as she focuses on eating her lunch the best she can.

She’s been feeling queasy for days now, and food is becoming much harder to get down, but she’s usually such a ravenous eater that the girls will notice if something’s off. She thinks about playing off that she’s sick — maybe from last night’s alcohol they think she drank? — and escaping back to her bed to hide under the covers all day, but if Kelley is already suspicious, that will just confirm her thoughts.

Jenna reaches for a few chips to munch on and ponders the past day. She must have done something wrong for Kelley to pick up on it. Could Kelley have found her stash of fake wine? She thought she had completely drained the one she had pretended to open last night, but maybe she hadn’t. Or did Kelley maybe find one of her tablets to color the liquid? She should have just told the girls she was into white wines now. She really is stupid sometimes, taking things way too far.

She changes the direction of her thoughts. What to do now if Kelley really does know? Or suspect anyway. She doubts Kelley could know for sure.

She could tell her the truth. Maybe pretend she wants to go for a walk along the ocean and ask Kelley to join her. Or wait until Audrey and Lizzie go in to shower and pull Kelley aside then.

Kelley would understand, right? Of course she would. And this baby is a good thing, Jenna reminds herself, for what feels like the millionth time in just this past week. And she has nothing to be ashamed about.

Jenna’s stomach gives a little roll at the thought, and she forces herself to take a deep breath. She waits a few beats until she’s sure she’s not going to vomit all over herself and then starts picking at her fruit.

She has nothing to be ashamed about, she forcefully reminds herself. She didn’t do anything wrong. Not really anyway. It wasn’t like she knew the type of man Matt was when she started seeing him. It’s not like she knew he was going to get her pregnant.

Jenna’s stomach gives another roll, like it’s disagreeing with her.

She puts her food and her magazine down and tries to look calm as she stands up.

“Be right back, ladies!” she calls to the others. They are all eating and gossiping about someone or something at Lizzie’s work, and they barely acknowledge her words.

She escapes into the house and hurries to a bathroom on the second floor, one that is further away from the backdoor and the pool and less likely to attract other visitors.

She locks herself in and drops to the floor before the toilet. Her stomach has settled again, but she’s not sure she can trust it. Or herself.

She goes back to what she was thinking about. Maybe she should tell Kelley about the baby. Or at least some semblance of the truth. Kelley would keep her secret, right? Maybe she could even help her keep her secret from the others. But what if she asks why Jenna needs to keep it a secret in the first place? What would she tell her? There is no way she can tell her the truth.

Or she could tell her a different secret altogether. It seems obvious that Kelley somehow knows she wasn’t really drinking last night, and that she was faking being drunk and then hungover this morning. She’s been offering her every sort of alcoholic drink under the sun ever since she got out of bed, like she’s testing her to see if she really is going to take it.

She’s declined them all so far, on the basis of not feeling so great after yesterday, but she knows that isn’t going to last much longer. She’s never been the type to let one night affect her fun the rest of the week.

Jenna sighs to herself.

It’s not just the drinks either. She sees the way Kelley keeps looking over at her, studying her, her eyes dropping down Jenna’s body. She definitely knows something, and it’s only a matter of time before she says something to someone else.

Maybe Jenna can tell her she’s given up alcohol but she doesn’t want the others to know so she doesn’t ruin the fun. She could say she had a bad experience a few months back. That part wouldn’t even be a lie. She could ask her for help, say she’s not ready to talk about it yet, but promise she will in time.

That could work. As long as she doesn’t get sick in front of anyone. And she hasn’t so far, so hopefully her luck holds.

She puts a hand on her belly and gets off up the floor. She is feeling a little better now. She just needs to be careful with what she eats.

But she can do this. She can make it through the week, and she can tell Kelley her fake story, and then as soon as this trip is over, she can make herself scarce, just like she has been doing before this, and not see any of these girls again until she’s ready to tell them the truth.

If she’s ever ready to tell them the truth.

But that is another problem for another day. Right now, she needs to focus on the problem in front of her, and that is Kelley.

She washes her hand in the sink and opens the door to the bathroom. And then jumps a little as she comes face to face with Kelley, who looks just as startled.

“I just came to check on you!” Kelley says hurriedly, looking guilty.

Jenna smiles at her. No time like the present to put her plan into action.

“It’s okay,” she says, keeping her voice cheery. “I was actually planning to come find you.”

Fiction.

Thank you for reading! This was written for

therealljidol: Survivor Idol! We're at the final immunity challenge, so there's no voting. We now are writing two entries every day until only one person is left standing.

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