LJ Idol Week 4: 'I don't skate to where the puck is. I skate to where the puck is going to be.'

[flipflop_diva]

To say I’m not good at sports is more than just an understatement. I was never the kid who wanted to play baseball in the streets or race my friends to see how fast I could go.

I have a scar on my ankle from when I fell off my bike when I was seven. Not from going fast, just from rounding a corner.

I took gymnastics for a week when I was five. A week. Because I fell off the trampoline and decided I didn’t want to try again.

I was on the basketball team in middle school. Not because I was anything close to good but because I was tall. I played maybe five minutes a game, and that was five minutes too long. I’m not sure if I ever scored.

I was on the colorguard in high school (the closest thing to sports I did love). Of course I hit myself in the face with my rifle and gave myself a bloody nose and a broken tooth. And then another bloody nose a few months later when I did it again.

And the first time I tried on rollerblades? I think I was on the ground more than I was on my feet.

But yet, the summer I was twenty-five, I decided I wanted to learn to play roller hockey. Because my new friends at my new job played roller hockey, and it looked like so much fun, and I was tired of sitting on the sidelines just watching them.

This was going to be my sport, I decided, as I watched them work together to get a goal for their team one Wednesday night. I was going to be fast and ruthless and score goals left and right. No one would see me coming.

Yeah.

That didn’t happen.

Although I actually wasn’t as bad as I secretly feared I might be. I learned to skate — enough that I could round corners and go backward and chase after someone (mostly) without falling. And I was good at stopping people. I could get in their way and not let them shoot and I could block a lot of pucks.

The only thing I was really horrible at was the one thing I wanted to be good at — getting the puck in the net.

But I found my calling playing defense and I helped get a couple assists here and there and it was good enough. I was happy.

And then I moved to Texas.

Part of me wanted to quit playing, to go back to the girl who just didn’t care about sports, but there was one rink near where I lived and the games were at a time I could make. I was scared to death to play with a group of people I didn’t know and who might expect more from me than I was capable of giving, but I shoved the fear down and drove to that rink and marched inside.

And of course it was fine.

There were less women at this rink than my first one, but there were more people around my skill-set. So I played and I tried and I stopped a lot of pucks and I blocked a lot of shots but I still never scored and the frustration started to grow.

It came to a peak one season when I thought it would be smart to sign up for two teams. One in the lowest level league and one in the middle level.

The lower level was fine. I played defense and did my thing.

The middle level was awful. I was the only girl on my team, so I played forward. And the seven guys I played with were all good. They all scored, all the time. They could all make these masterful moves I could only dream about.

I just wanted, for once, to contribute. To not feel like I was slowing them down and making them work harder because I was so bad.

I left so many nights, tears coming down on the drive home.

The worst part was the guys on my team were nice. Really nice. They were encouraging and supportive and they didn’t seem to mind that I was so horrible.

I minded though.

“It will happen,” one of them said. “You’re always in the right place. One day the puck will be there.”

I didn’t actually believe that. I wasn’t in the right place if the puck was never where I was, was I?

But finally, the season came to end. And, not surprisingly considering the other people on my team, we made the championship.

“One more game,” I told myself as I laced up my skates, “and then I can stop.”

I wouldn’t have to let people down anymore. I wouldn’t have to feel like a failure.

The game started. We scored. They scored. We scored. They scored. Back and forth, back and forth. Time was ticking down.

It was my shift again. I skated out, took my spot, tried to do everything I was supposed to do. Guard my man when they had the puck and not let them shoot. And when we got the puck, skate to the net and position myself in front of it.

And then it happened.

I was standing there, in front of the net, a few people around me but not in front of me. My teammate had the puck. He passed it to me.

I don’t remember what I was thinking. I don’t remember even hitting the puck. But I remember watching it bounce through the goalie’s legs and hit the back of the net. And I remember the cheers — not just of my teammates but of the guys on the team we were playing.

We won that game. Not because of me. The other team tied it back up, and another of my teammates got the game-winning goal. But I got something more. A realization that it might take awhile, but if you stand in the right place, someday that puck will come.

And, of course, I also got the realization that maybe I wasn’t quite as hopeless as I thought.



Written for therealljidol Week 4. To read the other entries and/or cast a vote, check them out over here.

Comments

[fizzbuzz.livejournal.com]

That's an awesome story.

Is it a real story? What is therealljidol? I had a quick look at the community and was confused.

[flipflop-diva.livejournal.com]

Thank you!

And yup, it's real. The part where my team won was maybe 4 years ago now, I think? 3 or 4.

And LJ Idol is a writing competition basically. It's kind of based on American Idol/Pop Idol and Survivor. So every week we get a new topic to write on (the quote up in my subject line is this week's topic) and then there is voting and a few people a week are eliminated (the voting post for this week will go up later tonight). I did it a couple years ago, but work got busy so I had to drop out, so this time I want to try to see how far I can make it. Plus it's good creative writing practice xD

[morettaallstar.livejournal.com]

I really like this! Love that it did work for you, and that you kept at it until it did! Full of hope. :)

[rswndrlst.livejournal.com]

Yeah colorguard! I did colorguard and   winterguard and one season of dci and it's such an underrated sport so yay!

I'm glad you stuck with it, I've wanted to try roller derby for a long time and reading this makes me think maybe I really could.

[penpusher.livejournal.com]

The thing about inline roller skates is that they were really designed to use to train hockey players during the warmer months/off season. As such, they aren't really supposed to be used on the up and down inclines of normal city streets and sidewalks. I am totally fine skating in traffic on regular quad style roller skates but I would never use inline skates! That "pencil eraser" they provide as a brake is practically useless if you're in the street and a car juts in front of you!

Still, great use of the prompt and a nice peek into your "team effort" sporting success!

[halfshellvenus.livejournal.com]

I'm glad this worked out so well for you and your team, especially after the early mishaps and injuries! It's hard to want to pursue activities that hurt you back so often, but you found one that suited you. :)

[rayaso.livejournal.com]

This was such an encouraging story, so well told, and right on point. You kept playing, kept trying to get better, and you should be very proud.

[dmousey.livejournal.com]

Awww.... Am glad you finished the season on a high note. Do you still play?
This was a fun read. Hug and peace~~~D

[my-name-is-jenn.livejournal.com]

Good for you for sticking with it. This was a great read.

[cheshire23.livejournal.com]

This made me smile a lot. Glad you finally got the goal! :)

[sinnamongirl.livejournal.com]

This is a very hopeful and encouraging story :)

[dee-aar2.livejournal.com]

Yay ... another inspiring story .... a different perspective that you don't always have to chase the puck ... standing where you think it might go ... might actually get you the puck. Lovely piece .... :)

[bewize.livejournal.com]

Good entry!

[murielle.livejournal.com]

Oh, this is wonderful! I love that you finally scored that goal, and with the more challenging team. This is just a great story! And so well written! Brava - on all counts!

[alycewilson.livejournal.com]

That must have been a great feeling! I enjoyed going on this journey with you.

[kajel.livejournal.com]

What a great story!

[draganaoftv.livejournal.com]

Oh, man, I love this. :D