flipflop_diva

She couldn’t quite remember when she had forgotten her own name, but she knew she would never forget the moment the rest of her started to fade.

She had woken up just minutes before from the sound of Chloe’s alarm clock, just as she did every morning. She had slipped out of bed, washed her face in the bathroom and then peeked in at Chloe to see what she was wearing so she could put on a matching outfit — a simple pair of jeans, a pink tank top with lace around the collar and pink wedges to match. She did her hair just like Chloe’s. A long brain that rested over her shoulder. And her dusting of makeup matched Chloe’s too. Just like it did every morning.

Downstairs, they sat together at the kitchen table and filled up matching bowls of cereal and glasses of orange juice. She lifted her orange juice to her mouth, but instead of sipping from the glass, she froze.

She could see every bit of orange juice in the glass.

Literally.

She could literally see every bit of orange juice in the glass.

Her own hand was transparent, the flesh and bones barely visible. She stared down at the rest of her body, which still seemed intact, but her heart was beating wildly in her chest. Her breathing was coming in short bursts.

“Chloe?” she managed. “Chloe!”

But Chloe was eating her cereal, checking her phone and laughing at some text her friends had sent her.

“Help me!” she tried again. “Chloe!”

But Chloe still didn’t respond, not until she had finished every bite of her cereal and drank every drop of her juice. Carefully she got up, placed her dishes in the sink and turned back.

“Come on, sister,” she said. “We’ll be late to school.”

She stared at Chloe. “I have a name, you know,” she said, even though she didn’t know what it was.

Chloe blinked. “Do you? Okay, sister, let’s go now.”

But for one of the few times in her life, she didn’t make a move to follow her twin. Instead, she stayed seated, clenching the glass in her transparent hand.

Panic swirled through her body, but even as it did, she knew where she had to go. There had only ever been one person who had really seen her.

--

The story of her birth wasn’t a pleasant one. Her parents, two people who had been cursed by a witch to have seven boys of varying ages, desperately wanted a daughter to go with their seven boys. They dreamt of this little girl, with her golden hair and turquoise eyes and fair skin. A girl who was more talented than any of their boys and who everyone who ever saw her would love.

They named her Chloe, from the minute they knew of her existence, and they loved her and doted on her even in the womb. They bought her the best of everything, and her mom spent hours upon hours creating the perfect nursery.

When Chloe was born, everyone rejoiced. Happiness filled the town at the birth of this long-awaited daughter.

But an hour later, her mother was doubled over in pain. No one knew what was wrong — until out popped another child. An identical match to Chloe. An afterthought. An imitation. A joke the world played on her parents.

Chloe’s twin, she had always been referred to as. Sister, Chloe and their brothers called her. “You belong to Chloe?” people would ask when they met her. Always about Chloe, always in relation to Chloe, until that’s who she became. Who she was. Who she had always been.

Who had she always been?

--

The old lady answered the door with a soft smile.

“Granddaughter!” she said and welcomed her with a hug. “Are you alone?”

“I needed to see you, Grandmother,” she said, and held out a trembling hand, still barely visible in Grandmother’s dark living room.

“Oh, no,” Grandmother murmured, shaking her head. “I feared this would happen. I have told you, dear child, that things that do not get any use fade away.”

Grandmother had said that. Many times. But she shook her head now, tears springing to her eyes.

“I didn’t know you meant people!” she said.

“People the most,” Grandmother said.

“But how do I stop it? How do I get my hand back?”

“You need to be seen, Granddaughter.”

“But how do I do that?” she asked, desperation lining her voice.

“I think you know, Granddaughter,” Grandmother said. “You have always known.”

“Have I?” She wondered to herself, but then she knew.

“What’s my name, Grandmother?”

“What is your name, Granddaughter?” Grandmother returned. “Just think.”

She closed her eyes. Tried to think. To go back in time. Way back.

Chloe’s twin.

Chloe’s sister.

Chloe’s other half.

Chloe’s counterpart.

Chloe.

Chloe.

Chloe.

Chloe’s Audrey.

Audrey.

Her eyes opened. “My name is Audrey.”

“Yes,” Grandmother said. “It is.”

—

She waited for her family to get home. She wore a pair of overalls that belonged to her brother, a green shirt that belonged to her mother. Her long hair was chopped off above her shoulders. Blue hair color they used for last Halloween covered the bottom half.

In her hand was a book she’d always wanted to read. On the TV a show she’d always wanted to watch.

Her brothers got home first.

“Are those my clothes?” The youngest of her brothers asked.

“Yes,” she said.

“Cool,” he said.

Her parents came home next. Her mother frowned at her hair.

“I think it needs more blue,” she finally said before walking away.

Chloe came home last.

“Hey, Audrey,” she said.

Audrey stared at her twin. “You called me Audrey.”

Chloe rolled her eyes. “Of course I did. It’s your name, isn’t it?”

Audrey smiled and glanced down at her hand, now fully visible in the dim light of the room.

“Yes,” she said. “Yes, it is.”

Fiction.

This was written for the new season of

therealljidol. If you liked my entry, please consider voting for me! You should also go read the other amazing entries. You can find them here. Voting should be up Wednesday night!

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

From:

roina_arwen

Wonderful story! I love how Audrey found herself at last!

mollywheezy

I loved the process of Audrey finding herself! Great job!

inkstainedfingertips

I really loved this piece. You do a good job of making us feel how it is to not be seen and feel invisible. I enjoyed the progression of it to Audrey coming into her own. Well done.

halfshellvenus

What a sad beginning--to be an afterthought, and treated as such. I'm glad Audrey claimed her own presence and her own style and interests.

Oh, the days before ultrasound. My husband's family thought his younger brother was twins, but instead it was just a single "well nourished" baby. ;)