LJ Idol Prompt 12 — From the Wreckage

[flipflop_diva]

He is a friend of one of my best friends, a friend of one of the two people I trust most in this new city I’ve been living in for the past few years. The same two people who were there for my last relationship, who saw how hard I fell, how deep I loved, how broken I was when that relationship ended because the man in question moved across the country.

This new man has only been a friend of one of my two best friends for a few months, but Joey tells me all about him. His name is Dalton, he lives about an hour away from us. He’s funny, charming, kind, smart. He does sports writing for a small-town newspaper. Joey, Anjanette (Joey’s girlfriend and my other best friend) and I do editing for a bigger town newspaper. But it’s how Joey meets him, how he gets to know him, how he comes to find out that he’s a great guy. A great guy who is also single.

Joey throws a party. There’s a big fight on Pay-Per-View. Someone famous beating up someone else famous. I don’t care about the fight, but there will be food and beer and laughter and games and Joey’s new friend Dalton, so I go. I meet him. We stand by the bowl of chips, and we talk and eat and laugh, and he does seem nice and he seems funny and he seems great. And at the end of the night, when he asks if maybe he can call me some time, I find myself smiling as I punch my number into his phone and say I’d like that. I’d like that a lot.

He takes me out to dinner a few days later. Drives the distance between our apartments, pays for dinner where we sit and chat as the time flies by, kisses me gently on the lips and then drives the long way home without complaint.

We do more dinners, then movies, then trips to the mall and the beach and the local amusement park. Sometimes we stay in and cuddle on the couch and then in bed. Somewhere in there we become official, and I’m happy, so happy, and I even have moments where I picture it — getting married with Anjanette and Joey as a maid of honor and a best man, buying a house, having a family. It’s a perfect fantasy, a beautiful dream, so perfect and beautiful that I overlook some of the little things that aren’t always so perfect.

The tantrums he throws when he doesn’t get his way. The anger he displays if I say no, I can’t see him tonight. The little comments here and there about how I look or how the last man had to leave town to get away.

We have a bad night, about six months in. A fight over everything and nothing. My father is having a housewarming party. My sister is bringing her boyfriend. I’m not sure I want to bring Dalton. I’m not sure I’m ready for that, to introduce him to my family and so many of my childhood friends. But he’s angry I’m considering not bringing him. He leaves without saying goodbye. I hear the car roar out of the driveway.

I tell Joey and Anjanette about it. I tell them that sometimes I’m not sure this is working out. I tell them I miss Mike, the one who moved across the country to be closer to his dad. I tell them maybe I’m not over him.

“Just give Dalton a chance,” Joey says. “He really is a great guy.”

So I do. I talk to my dad, to my sister, and I invite Dalton to come. He doesn’t fit in quite as well as my sister’s boyfriend does. But my dad says he seems nice.

The second day we’re there, the housewarming party starts. So many people I haven’t seen in years, so many people I love but who live so far away. Dalton gets mad I’m not spending every second with him. He yells, then spends the rest of the night giving me the silent treatment. Everyone sees. No one says anything. I convince myself it’s normal.

We drive home the next day, a five-hour roundtrip. He tells me how awful I was, how I can’t do things like that, how I need to spend time with him, how he should be the most important person. He tells me he loves me, but he’s disappointed in me.

I think maybe I did mess up, maybe I was the one who made the mistake. I apologize. I say I’ll do better.

I work on spending more time with him. Cancelling plans with other people to make more of an effort. Changing myself to be the person he wants. Not even realizing this is what I’m doing. Telling myself it’s because I love him and he’s a good guy and this should be everything I’ve ever wanted.

He talks about marriage, about the future, about what it will be like. I don’t want to leave my job, my friends, but I say it sounds nice. I say it’s what I want too.

We still fight sometimes. He still throws tantrums. I learn to navigate them, to apologize for them. I ignore the uncomfortable feeling in my gut. I ignore the little voice in my head. I ignore the broken lamp and the busted chair because they are just accidents.

I tell myself over and over that it’s fine, that it’s good, that I’m happy. Sometimes I even believe it.

Christmas rolls around. We’ve been together for a year now. He has a ring he hasn’t given me. I know I should be excited, but part of me hopes he keeps it in his pocket.

We go to dinner with a group of friends, with Joey and Anjanette and Joey’s friend Scott and Scott’s girlfriend Amber. We’re all eating and talking, but Dalton is being loud. Too loud. He’s mad about something I said earlier, and now he’s being loud and rude. And then he starts telling a story, about someone else who made him mad.

“And you know what that faggot said?” he seethes.

There is silence around the table. Dead silence. But Dalton doesn’t notice. He opens his mouth to keep going, but Scott suddenly shoots to his feet.

“Don’t you ever say something like that again!” he roars, his finger pointing at Dalton, his whole body shaking.

They get into it, Dalton and Scott. Voices raised, everyone in the restaurant staring over at us. We end up leaving, all of us, food still on our plates, a couple people tossing cash on the table to cover the bill.

Dalton grabs my hand as we head out, snarls, “Can you believe that guy?”

Amber is next to me. She looks over. Looks at the two of us. Maybe sees my face. “You can ride home with us,” she says.

“She’s coming with me,” Dalton snaps. He grips my hand harder, so hard it hurts.

I look at him, at Amber. I think of what just happened, the scene Dalton just made, the words he uses and doesn’t think twice about.

I can’t do this. In this moment, I can’t do this.

I pull my hand away, out of his grip. I say, “I’ll ride with Amber.”

I break up with him the next day. Over the phone. I can’t bear to do it in person. I worry I won’t be able to do it if I see him. I worry I’ll convince myself he’s a good guy when I know the truth.

I feel relief when I hang up the phone.

“I’m sorry,” Joey says to me later that night when I go see him and Anjanette, when I tell him everything. “I’m sorry I had you meet him. I’m sorry I told you to stay with him.”

“It’s not your fault,” I say. “You didn’t know.”

“I’m still sorry,” he says, but then he adds. “You’re going to be okay.”

I shrug, and he holds his arms out, and I go into his arms, curling against him as he hugs me tight. And in that moment, for a brief possible time, for reasons I can’t really understand, I believe him. And I know. I will be okay. Maybe not today, or tomorrow, or a week from now, but one day, yes, I will be okay. I will make it past this mess. I will be fine.





Fiction. Although I can say it is inspired by real events. Just not quite as bad as here.



This was written for therealljidol. If you liked my entry, please consider voting for me! You should also go read the other amazing entries. You can find them here. Voting should be up Friday!

Comments

[muchtooarrogant]

Ouch! A relationship trap most of us have experienced in some form. I'm glad your character managed to pull herself free.

Dan

[halfshellvenus]

With someone who is skilled at modulating their behavior for others, it can be really hard to see the truth of that kind of person beforehand. Their friends don't know, prospective dates don't know. And then there's the gaslighting about the incidents and causes themselves.

I'm glad your character escaped that before it was too late.

[erulissedances]

Damn! Definitely a relationship to leave in the rear view mirror.

- Erulisse (one L)

[murielle]

Heartwrenching account of the tragedy of being drawn into the web of a narcissist.

Well done. Well done. ❤👍❤

[inkstainedfingertips]

It takes a tremendous amount of strength to finally put your foot down and escape that sort of toxicity. "Inspired by real events," I am sorry you had to endure anything similar to this, but congratulations on getting out.

[rayaso]

I'm glad you labelled this as fiction - it didn't read like it. To whatever extent your life mirrored your story, I'm sorry. There are so many angry, abusive people in the world.

[swirlsofpurple]

Eep. I'm glad this character managed to get away from him.

[alycewilson]

Thank goodness she managed to leave. Such a familiar story for too many.