Week 0: Introduction

[flipflop_diva]

Who am I?

That’s the question. It should be easy, but yet it’s really not.

I’m Kristine. I’m a Hufflepuff. With a bit of Slytherin in there. (If you know Harry Potter, that tells you a lot.) I’m a daughter, and a sister, and an aunt. I call myself a mom, but my only kids have four legs and are furry.

I’m 38. I’m supposed to be an adult. Sometimes I am. I live by myself and pay the mortgage and go on business trips. I have a gardener and worry about things like electric bills and oil changes. At work, they let me be in charge of other people.

I don’t feel like an adult very much, though. I sit around in my pajamas on a daily basis until 5pm (I work at home), I watch too much TV (and record even more of it), I write smutty fanfic and squee over celebrities.

There are dishes in the sink and laundry is on the floor and there’s a stack of mail on the table next to me that desperately needs to be opened.

This isn’t how I pictured being an adult.

When I was a kid, I thought when I’d get older, I’d have everything figured out. I thought I’d be a world famous author and have a gorgeous husband and three flaw-free kids.

I have none of those things. I’m not even close to having any of those things.

Sometimes I wonder if the kid I was back then would recognize the me I am today. I’m not sure. Though some things are still the same.

I’m still a writer. I’m still a dreamer. I’m still an optimist. I still love everything Disney and would live at Disneyland if that were an option.

Some things are different. I left California for Texas. I switched from pop music to country. I’m braver than I used to be. I’m stronger than I used to be. I’m more outgoing than I use to be.

Some days I’m proud of myself for who I’ve become. Other days I disappoint myself. Then I go to bed and get up in the morning and try to be better.

I’m a procrastinator. I’m a perfectionist. Some days I’m a hard worker. Other days I’m lazy.

I’m a writer. A hockey player. A Texas Longhorns college football fan.

I love drinking beer and eating Mexican food and hanging out with my friends online and offline. I spend way too much time on the internet when I should be cleaning the kitchen. I spend way too much time flailing over TV characters when I could be out changing the world.

But this is who I am. Right now anyway.

Who I want to be, who I’m meant to be … I’m still figuring that out.

Comments

[amberdawnpullin.livejournal.com]

"Who I want to be, who I’m meant to be … I’m still figuring that out."

You and me both!

Great intro.